Rampant Musings of a Fariequeene

2/1/12

2012-02-01T12:47:00.000-05:00

Happy February, and Please let this weather go away...everything hurts and I am miserable... moving on.

This blog may go from a daily blog to an every few days blog until my body and my schedule isn't killing me.

thanks.

1/28/12 (Posted on the 30th)

2012-01-30T22:37:00.001-05:00

I am located in the bedroom today, doing some research and trying to take it easy since my RA is acting up. I know I usually pull my book of the day from my shelf in the Study, and I don't want to totally get out of sorts, but since I am here and the study is so far away, I will be extra cool...feature two books and try to make up for losing my place. :D
Been feeling a bit sick, so this is a few days late.

Books of the Day:

Common Book of Prayer 1941

This is a nicely bound gift edition of the Anglican Common Book of Prayer, I bought this one online.

Some fiction

I picked that one up at a book sale, these are the books currently on my night table.

What's On My Nook!

Interesting book.

I picked this up because the title seemed sooo interesting.

Get it here

Music of the Day

This Day in History!!!

1649 - Charles I is beheaded and England goes into a pretty dark period (well in my opinion)

1/27/12

2012-01-27T11:08:00.001-05:00

After a vacation of getting things in order and adjusting to school and such, I am back. A lot has happened. I am back doing research at school and I am really enjoying it, but being back at school also brings unwanted dramas...which have really dampened the mood. There are days, more and more of them, that I wish I were not the stand up and say what I think type. While I believe it is the right way to be, the unwanted stress always just pulls me down. I think the perfect storm of that and the fact that our stranger than strange weather here in Middle Georgia has caused me so much trouble with my RA that when I get home from school or work I am too tired to do anything else, even post in my awesome blog, but I am going to try to be better... I am back from my self imposed hiatus and things should be back to normal. I am going to Florida in February to see some family, so my blog may not be as traditional those days.

Sometimes older books by the right authors just fit... like they should remain in that form, look worn and aged.... this is one of those books...

Milton's Complete Poems (1899)

This book is over 100 years old, printed in 1899, a student edition of Milton's works and mine for a whopping 2.50 at an old book store. The book has an old portrait of Milton in the front of the book, with the aged tissue paper over it and then it opens up to a splendid collection of beautiful works.

Anyway, I love the book, its not perfect, someone used it as a text book way back when and their markings are inside of it...which to me...makes it even more wonderful.

What's On My Nook?

I currently have a tug of war going on between two books.... The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and We Two, which is a biography of the relationship between Queen Victoria of England and her husband Albert. Both books are engaging and interesting, but I cannot stay on one... I read a few chapters in each a night. Also, I will have to be fair to my beloved nookbooks and be honest....

I have also been reading Of Plymouth Plantation by William Bradford for school... so that has caused a bit of a lull in my fun reading, along with the research I am doing... it cuts in on the fun times... but... what to feature from my nook library today....

Oh...

These books are usually inexpensive and wonderful things to own, this one was only 3.99

I speak a lot about being an advocate for the poor, maybe not as much on here... but on my other outlets like facebook and twitter, I think its important, I think it is vital to understand the devastating effects of poverty on families, on children, and on a person's ability to perform later in life. As I also spend a lot of time studying history, this book was a no brainer at 3.99 and a book I heartily recommend to everyone.

How the Other Half Lives

By: Jacob A. Riis

Get it Here

What am I listening to???

The Cranberries

Zombie

This song was one of my favorites as a teenager, and its message... well, yea...totally me.

Today In History:

A little Georgia pride today, in 1785 the University of Georgia (the first public university) was founded. GO DOGS!

vacation

2012-01-20T23:25:00.001-05:00

1/16/12

2012-01-16T23:22:00.003-05:00

Man, I thought the new year would put you ON track not pull you off of it. I have had a lazy day or two and its showing so I have to catch up.
I totally fell off the be healthy bandwagon and ate three krispy kreme doughnuts today.... and ate hamburgers, and tater tots, and drank beer... geeze.... Living the wild life I swear!!!

But, back to normal and doing some computer clean up tonight, transferring some stuff off the old laptop to this one and moving on. Man I loved that laptop... even if that one a year ago and maybe I am kind of snarky with this one since the first new one broke so many times they had to replace it with this... regardless, this one works wonders. I cannot complain too much.

So in between moving 11 gig worth of pictures and exercising and cleaning up, I am posting my blog. :D

Long German novels... YES!!!

If you know me, you know I love Downton Abbey, so its only fitting that I would wrap myself around this German novel about the slow death of the upperclass German society as well. It was a sweeping and sappy novel and I loved it. We had to read it for a Modern Germany class and I would read it again. LOVED IT.

GET IT HERE

Apparently it now comes not only in paperback for around 13 dollars, but you can also get it as an Ebook, which is awesome!! If you like stuff like that, read it.. I liked it. I always felt sorry though for the father in this book, his whole family just slowly falls apart, its strange.

What's on my Nook?

Today I don't have a picture of the cover for the book I am featuring, it is what we call a public domain title, which means 1. its free :D 2. its old

Sometimes I like reading these old history books just to see the perspective from when it was written.

Today I am featuring THIS GEM!!!

The Trials of Five Queens

Its a really old one but I couldn't resist... it was free...it had Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Marie Antionette, AND Mary Queen of Scots... so this should be fun. and free.. free is always good.

The bonus with this one as well... IF you don't have a nook, you can probably find this in google books for free as well.

Music of the Day!

We have been buying a lot of records lately. One of the gems we found in our search was Duran Duran for only FIVE dollars.

OMG I loved this song as a kid.

This Day in History:

January 16th - 1572 – Thomas Howard, 4th Duke of Norfolk is tried for treason for his part in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in England.

In addition, for some reason these Norfolk guys were always plotting against the King or Queen at the time...something about that place... that and they always thought that they were the rightful heirs to the throne of England, never worked out.

1/14/12

2012-01-14T18:46:00.002-05:00

It has been a busy last few days, sorry I haven't had the chance to update appropriately. Today Adam and I did get a chance to go to the antique mall and I purchased seven records of classical music, which will be helpful during studying time.

Another awesome Book Sale find!!!

This one cost me a whole dollar, what is bad about a one dollar history book?? Nothing!

What's On the Nook?

This one was suggested by a fellow student

Past Imperfect

By: Peter Charles Hoffer

GET IT HERE!!!

For just 10 bucks, totally worth it if you like to read about the craft of writing history, very interesting already.

Song of the Day!

Loved this song when it came out.

This Day in History!!!

1724 – King Philip V of Spain abdicates the throne.

1/12/12

2012-01-12T10:08:00.000-05:00

The weather here in Georgia is a bit strange, and when I say that.. I mean a lot strange. Somehow Georgia has this knack of creating this weather void of strangeness where one day it is 60 degrees, the next day it is 20, raining and windy. For someone like me who has RA, weird weather can be a bane. But, I am up with my lingering cough from the mess that I had over Christmas, bundled up and writing my blog, which I love to do.
For the book of the day today... I am going to cheat... I know I know, but I just got a new book in and I wanted to share it, because it is so cool.

Favourite English Teatime Recipes

I paid a little over two dollars for this gem, but I had to order it from a shop in England through Amazon. Apparently there is a whole series, which I now want all of. There are awesome recipes in here like Belvoir Castle Buns and Lakeland Lemon Cake, all which sound rich and good... so we shall see if I make any.

What am I reading on my Nook?

OH man I got distracted last night before I went to bed in the nook shop. I can do that quite easily and there are a few books I really want to buy, but I am being frugal since I have a ton of books I have not read. That being said, there is an awesome biography of Anne Hutchinson that I found...that I must have. If you don't know who she is...

Here is a website dedicated to her

I have a fascination for Hutchinson because in some senses she sparks some parts of feminism in a time when that concept was unheard of. She also called out the often eloquent but also often hypocritical John Winthrop for his paradoxical behavior when it came to reading and interpreting the bible as an individual and then saying... no not for you Anne, you child of the devil.

Anyway... This is the book I want....

American Jesebel: The Uncommon Life of Anne Hutchinson, The Woman who Defied the Puritans
As a nook book it is only : 10.99
Author: Eve LaPlante
Get it HERE!

What do I already have on my nook of interest you ask?

Henry VIII
By Allison Weir

This is a popular history of the Tudor monarch so its not something you would want to use as a source or anything, that being said... Weir does use notes and she isn't horrible. I love reading about Harry here, he was a good king...he just had some lady issues that really got in the way of people looking at what else he did in England during the time he ruled. His interactions with people like Thomas More and his defense of the Catholic faith (until the pope made him angry) are amazing stories within themselves, and he was not a huge fan of Martin Luther. Good book to read, pick it up!

HERE, it is totally worth the 13.99 in nook book

Musical people are just that... they listen to music, they love music...it has more meaning than just having something going on in the background or playing in the car to avoid silence. Adam and I are music people...that is one of the reasons I think we love each other so much, similarities like the realization that music is vital to life.
We just added an awesome record player to the kitchen, its amazing.

Our sweet setup

I am proud of it, and I broke it in by listening to the Cure last night. I love the Cure, I have loved the Cure since I was a kid. So today's music is brought to you by Robert Smith

This is a little old for some people, but amazing. So... if you have never listened to the Cure, listen to this song and become a fan.

This Day in History!!!

1915 - A setback in the progression of equal rights in America happened when the United States House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote. This struggle would last for years as women began to protest the wartime president Wilson and cause quite a scandal after they were mistreated and improperly imprisoned for their work to gain voting rights for women.

1/11/12

2012-01-11T11:55:00.000-05:00

This has not been the best week ever, I know it is only Wednesday, but I am going to just say hurry up and get over and let us move on to next week which promises to be much better and not as annoying by default. My blog has sucked as of late, I've been ill and tired and just not updating what I should so we will have a good and proper post today and hopefully no more slacking.

Everyone needs Dante in their life

The Portable Dante

Edited by: Mark Musa

Looks like I picked up this little gem at the booksale for four dollars, which is pricey... but its probably due to the fact that its in such good condition. I love Dante so I totally see my motivation.

"I never feared to die as much as then,

and my fear might have been enough to kill me,

if I had not already seen those chains."

-p 172 Inferno

What's on my nook?

Well, the Crimean War book is awesome in the fact that I just really didn't know that much about the war to begin with, so learning about it is fun... but let us feature a book I haven't talked about multiple times.

A captivating read

There is something about Plath that captivates me, her writing, her life, how it ended... so I wanted to get inside her head and these journals do that, they are very intimate. Odd read.

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Nook price: 15.99

Song of the Day:

Mad World

Tears for Fears, the original song...not all those remakes... Good song.

This Day in History:

January 11th 1908 - The Grand Canyon National Monument is created. That is a place I would like to visit at one point.

1/10/12

2012-01-11T01:20:00.000-05:00

There was going to be a blog today, but I argued on the internet instead, which was a total failure and I shouldn't have.
I need to learn from my mistakes.

1/9/12

2012-01-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

I have a headache! Ok, now that I have that out of the way... I can proceed.

Not the best picture, not feeling like finding my phone or camera, not feeling well

Civilization in the West

Text book by: Brinton, Christopher, and Wolff

Friends of the Library book sale purchase for a dollar.

Whats on my Nook?

I am still reading the Crimean War book, I know this isn't an update... I am tired.

Song of the day:

Father Figure

Love this song.

Today in History????

The Battle of Fort Hindman begins in 1863 in Arkansas.

I know this is a lame post, but I am tired. Better posts will come on the morrow.

1/5/12

2012-01-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

I am seated on the edge of my couch right now because someone (60 lb boxer named Lizzie) wants to sit directly behind me, she is special.

couch hog

As for the book of the day.... let's get to it shall we?

I promise not every book I have is a text book... I do read fiction... I do!

One of the first upper level history classes I took was 19th century Europe and man was I excited, it still remains one of my most favorite of all favorite classes, I'd say top 5.

Where else can you learn about baby farming?

Don't know what that is???

Click here for more info on it!

Anyway, I was fascinated to say the least, as I was with the entire period. Loved the class, adore the professor, she's awesome!

I think she still teaches it today!

Nineteenth-Century Europe : the Revolution of Life

By: Leo A. Loubere

1990 edition

You can get it for a really cheap price here

Hey Shonda, What's on your nook?

If you wanna read some weird history...here you go.

The Dancing Plague

By: John Waller

Nook price: 2.99 (a really good deal)

Get it here

Oh man if you want some strange history, this is the book for you. I started reading this one and its just crazy... people literally danced... to death. A real case of the jitterbug if you know what I mean...

NEW FEATURE NEW FEATURE NEW FEATURE!!!!

Ok, so I don't think this blog has enough going for it... I mean... I think I should give people more to read on a daily basis. So...
Song of the day:

I think this song is amazing, I think this band is amazing... check them out.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Ok, this one made me happy and dance around a bit, not enough to die of dancing, but I was jolly just the same.

1066 – Edward the Confessor dies childless, sparking a succession crisis that will eventually lead to the Norman conquest of England.

1/4/12

2012-01-04T23:45:00.000-05:00

I need to count how many books on the Middle Ages I own

So, this may be a quick since it is late and I have to get up early to go to the doctor. But, if I neglected the blog no one reads, I would feel bad.

I have alot of books on the Middle Ages. This is one of them. Its older and its more of a collection of primary sources, which is useful. Not something you read like a novel.

I probably picked it up at a used book store somewhere, or online knowing me.

The Middle Ages: Volume I: Sources of Medieval History

By: Brian Tierney

this is the 4th edition from 1983

What's on My Nook???

get it here

Do I really need to explain why I bought this, really???

THIS DAY IN HISTORY!!!!!!!

1649 – English Civil War: The Rump Parliament votes to put Charles I on trial.

1/3/12

2012-01-03T16:28:00.000-05:00

There are days I think about calling this blog... musings of a semi-social or less unsociable hermit. I guess it is because it is hard for me to explain to those who constantly adore the company of others that not everyone is the same way, or in my case... hey...sometimes I don't like people.

There are periods where I would much rather just sit at home, do my daily business, work, clean, do whatever...and not be bothered by anyone else (adam not included). There are days that I think he and I could live on top of a mountain 1k miles away from anyone else (as long as there is plenty of modern technology and an internet connection).

I have had this one for a while, didn't have to read it for a class, but used it.

The Confessions of Saint Augustine

This is a 1991 edition I picked up in a used bookstore somewhere in my travels. I used it as a source for a paper once, I know that and we read parts of it for a middle ages class I took many many moons ago.

And with This book ends the first shelf of my first bookcase. lol.

And in the realm of the nook....

An interesting book

Auschwitz: A New History

By: Laurence Rees

16 dollar nookbook

Get it here

Not every book should be a joy to read, some books you should read to know more or to try to grasp something you cannot grasp. Genocide, concentration and death camps... I cannot fully understand the how...the ability of someone to completely obliterate an entire group of people... so I bought this one to read, to maybe understand what happened and why, or what these men were thinking, the ones who worked in the camps.

This Day in History!!!!

1521 – Pope Leo X excommunicates Martin Luther in the papal bull Decet Romanum Pontificem.

01/02/12

2012-01-02T19:09:00.001-05:00

Yet another assigned book that I like

Tonight, while roasting a perfect chicken and enjoying a nice day off as a final break from the Christmas season working in retail, I pulled the next book off the shelf to find this little gem. Another book I had to read for a college class, and another book I enjoyed, it was very interesting. You can find copies of this everywhere and in different formats, pretty cheap... if you have never read it, do yourself a favor and get some insight into what life was like for a slave.

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl: Written by Herself
By: Harriet Jacobs
with related documents
Published: around 1857

My attempt at understanding this evil woman

Now I will admit it, I have no love for the woman above. She was a zealot, a murderess, and cold and calculating. She brought no advancement to England, she married an idiot who was just as much as a zealot, and she left England backwards and almost in ruin. But, that is a very biased opinion, and since I don't know a ton about her...and like nothing about her, I thought...I should read about her to ensure I dislike her. ;)

This is a newer bio of Mary and we shall see, I cannot see how I would ever like her.

But... on nook the book is only 13.99 and you have to start somewhere.

Mary Tudor: Princess, Bastard, Queen

By: Anna Whitelock

9/7/2010

Get it Here!

This Day in History:

1788- My Home state of Georgia becomes the 4th state to ratify the US Constitution.

1/01/12

2012-01-01T22:57:00.000-05:00

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

WELCOME 2012!!!!!

We brought in the New Year at my house in a rather boring fashion, going to bed a little after midnight and still kind of under the weather, especially since I infected Adam and he will now spend his long weekend recovering, poor thing.
But, that being said, its nice to have some down time. I started my exercising again, a little and have been eating more than I should, but I am sick so oh well...

You know, when I get to a book of the day that I really like, I get overwhelmingly excited. So, when I looked up on the shelf and saw this title as my next selection, I smiled.

One of the best books I've read

To continue my obsession with the Great War, I will add yet another memoir about a soldier's experience in the midst of the chaos. Good-Bye to All That by Robert Graves is a beautiful and haunting book. Unlike the book I featured yesterday by Junger, this book was written by a writer and his language adds some horrific depth to the war experience. I will admit, the WWI class I took in college allowed me to read some of the most amazing books of my life and I cannot thank that professor enough, I do not know if anyone else who took those classes with me loved the books as much as I did, perhaps its my fascination with WWI itself, but this book, along with so many others I read during that class have crept into my top 25 list, I must say.

"London seemed unreally itself. Despite the number of uniforms in the streets, the general indifference to, and ignorance about, the War surprised me. Enlistment still remained

voluntary. The universal catch-word was 'Business as usual.'" -p 142

Good-Bye to All That

By: Robert Graves

Published: 1929

One of the places that Adam and I insisted on visiting when we went to England in May of last year was the Imperial War Museum. It was an amazing experience and we both enjoyed it because Adam and I both have a hankering for history, if you guys didn't already know. One of the most awesome (even if it was a bit cheesy) was the walk through the trenches display.

One of the best parts of the exhibit was the fact that the entire place smelled like gas lol. It was dark and loud and lights would flash out of nowhere... so it was rather creepy, nothing like the horrific reality of the millions of soldiers who found an early grave within them.

When the world is red and reeking,
And the shrapnel shells are shrieking,
And your blood is slowly leaking,
Carry on.

When the broken battered trenches,
Are like the bloody butchers' benches,
And the air is thick with stenches,
Carry on.

Since I post in the blog daily (usually) and I read the same book on the nook for days at a time, I am just going to start to do with my digital library what I do with my physical library and feature a book and tell you about it and how to get it if you are so inclined to do so....

This was one of the books I purchased with my Christmas money, and I have read about fifty pages of it. I have a fascination with the Crusades and the motivations and the ongoing struggle between the east and the west.

Title: The Crusades: The Authoritative history of the War for the Holy Land

By: Thomas Asbridge

Published: 2010 Price: 9.99 nook book

This Day in History

1808 – The importation of slaves into the United States is banned.

12/31/11

2011-12-31T23:42:00.000-05:00

Farewell 2011 Edition!!!!!

Adam and I are both sick on this New Year's Eve, but that doesn't ruin our last night of 2011 at all, it has been a wonderful year!! In need of an AWESOME recap...

FIRST...
We redid the Living Room, it was our first home improvement project ever:

It was a fun project and now I have my study where I can do school work and relax, its great and I love Adam for doing it for me.

SECOND...
I graduated College!!!!

Stephen, Dane, and I backstage

I know I have more schooling to go, but the BA in History is the first step right??!!!

I will be honest, it was an amazing moment to graduate, it took a long time!!! :D

If things couldn't get any better... my awesometastic husband Took me to ENGLAND!!!!!

I want to move here!

It was a trip of a lifetime and we enjoyed every minute of it. We stayed in London, near a lovely cheese shop that we visited and ate fine cheese from. We visited Salisbury and Bath and loved BOTH places and did the obligatory Stonehenge visit....

Don't we look so happy

I will admit, the ancient stones were sort of a let down, there is a highway in front of where we are standing lol.

If London wasn't awesome enough....

When we got home, we got Elizabeth I

Lizzie at 8 weeks old

June 2011, isn't she adorable..... Lizzie is amazing, and we were terrified in October when she got sick and we thought we might lose her. But, she's over the parvo and back to normal... her giant self...

Lizzie eating her oinker on New Year's Eve

So life is good...

Now on to the normal Blog....The last book of the year is a title that I think every student should read in a world history class.

a very compelling war memoir

Storm of Steel

By: Ernst Junger

Published: 1920

This german soldier account of the Trenches of WWI is amazing and it tells you a true story of war and what war feels like in one of the most astonishing wars of the 20th century. WWI is a war that I feel is often put in the background. Read this book, it's amazing. I wish it were on nook, so I could DL it, but its not.

On the nook, I am really enjoying the book on the Crimean War, I didn't know there were so many religious undertones in the war.

I know I already said read this one... But do it, READ IT!

This Day in History!!!

1759 – Arthur Guinness signs a 9,000 year lease at £45 per annum and starts brewing Guinness.

1907 – The first New Year's Eve celebration is held in Times Square (then known as Longacre Square) in New York, New York.

12/30/11

2011-12-30T12:51:00.000-05:00

I love it when I get to feature a book I really enjoyed, as is the case with this title.

Having to take a class on WWI wasn't in any way a burden, I was excited to take it and excited to read the books assigned to us. This, The Great War and Modern Memory by Fussell is one of my favorites. The book focuses on the British Western front and not only delves with accounts of the war but into the literature and the writing of the time, its an amazing book, I loved it.

I will admit, the frenzy of buying books with all my christmas money has left me a bit overwhelmed with books to read. Last night, I started reading
The Crusades
Check it out here
The book is by Thomas Asbridge and was published in 2010, it seems to be a sweeping overview of the crusades, but a good refresher none the less.

This Day in History
1460 - The battle of Wakefield takes place, which is a part of the War of the Roses. If you would like a neat little book on that war, check this out... I liked it.
The War of the Roses

12/29/11

2011-12-29T20:10:00.000-05:00

The year is winding down and I know I missed a few days. I will preface this post with the fact that I've been nasty sick the last few days and I've had nothing but hot tea with lemon and honey and a lovely variety of soups...so remembering this food is awesome. Adam and I had a wonderful Christmas at my parent's house with good food and a good time, after that we drove up to Atlanta, Georgia to spend Christmas night and my birthday the 26th. Let me tell you... eating on Christmas night, even in Atlanta is a task. After hours of waiting... three to be exact at Grand China on Peachtree, we did have pretty good food.

YUM

That was Adam's spicy Shrimp, it was spicy and good...and so was my general Tso's chicken, was it 3 hours good... no. But, it was Christmas and people were working late and hard.

The next night's Dinner was a meat festival with a great dessert.

There is lamb, filet mignon, bottom shank, fried polenta, mashed potatoes, fried plantanes and many other yummy things

Fogo De Chao was pretty good, and a ton of meat. Though the server did find out it was my birthday and gave me this...

Birthday Creme Brulee is happy

oh yea... sooo good.

Now... through all of that, I have been sick and I have neglected my book posts, so here goes...

A vintage 1967 bio of Henry VIII

By John Bowle

Published by: Readers Union, London

looks awesome and used right??

As for myself, I am currently reading a book on the Crimean War.

The Crimean War

It is a war no one knows about, but has a lot of history and background, great book.

This day in History!!!

This year in 1170, Thomas Becket, who was the Archbishop of Canterbury, was assassinated.

12/24/2011

2011-12-24T14:58:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!
I had to get a bit in the spirit, I am sorry I have been a bit slack in posting.
So now, It is Christmas eve and I have some great people coming over and I am listening to classical renditions of favorite christmas songs. I wish I could find Loreena Mckinnet live streaming, but alas... I can't.

Sooo....

I learned a valuable lesson after my last blog post, the Vampire story book that I featured is no longer with us... instead... THIS

Bowl full of innocence right here .... has her look of "I didn't do it" while hiding under a table... yes, the book has been eaten.
She loves books...

Today's Book...I absolutely Loathe!

I have never read a more contrived and bias book

If you want an honest look at the economics of slavery, this is not the book for you, IF you want someone telling you that slavery wasn't so bad...this is the load of bull that you need. The research is bias, horribly done, and has more holes than swiss cheese. We were actually assigned the book to know what to look for when things go WRONG in a history title. Man, I never have hated a book more...

So... I should give this to lizzie and tell her to chow down.

I am finally back into reading the John Brown book and I am really getting into it. Horowitz is pretty scant in the reference department, and I would like to see more, but beyond that...its an amazing story and you start to get to know Brown and realize he wasn't just some slight radical, he truly believed that slaves should be free and that God called for it even if that meant the taking of lives. He lived in a hard place during a hard time and after two of his children died of cholera, they had two more and renamed them the names of the dead and moved on. Its an interesting perspective into this man's life, which at best can be called spartan.

This Day in History

So for this day I wondered...what could I post, and there were two actually pretty relevant American things that happened on December 24th, besides the whole Christmas Eve thing which I could go into a history of Christmas and holiday customs but its been done.. alot.

So first of all, on this day in 1814, the Treaty of Ghent was signed, ending the War of 1812. 1812 is a war that a lot of Americans did not know about, but it was a pretty important war. I hope with this being the 200 year anniversary of the war coming up, we get some really awesome books about it and more people read up on the conflict with the British, but also the schism that began this early that would eventually lead to the Civil War and other big issues in the United States. It was also the one and only time we invaded Canada...we failed, it was bad.

ALSO....

in 1865, the Klu Klux Kan was formed on December 24th. A dark and dangerous group who would terrorize and murder many minorities throughout the south for 100 years more. Such a dark and tragic part of our past...

I couldn't even THINK about leaving December 24th without mentioning one of the most amazing little War stories ever. On December 24th, 1914... when the Great War still rallied the youth of Europe to fight the good and honorable fight, both sides along the trenches called a Truce and no one fought. It was the only time it happened and it was an amazing moment.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and a Merry Christmas!!!

12/20/11

2011-12-20T23:29:00.000-05:00

There is a part of me that really wants to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and be in the holiday spirit, that part of me does NOT go to work everyday. Those who do not work in retail cannot fully comprehend how horrible the holiday season is on retail employees. We get screamed at, we get treated like crap, we have to deal with multiple extreme situations every day and our thanks is longer hours and painful sleepless nights. It is a stressful situation. I think my lowpoint was having to climb under all the stalls in the women's bathroom on my hands and knees because some ignorant children who weren't being watched thought it would be funny to lock all the bathroom doors... from the inside. So yea, that is what Christmas is like, or people calling you liars or telling you that you personally ruined their family Christmas because we didn't have some sacred gift...

Rant over...

For my book of the day, I have a bargain book I purchased at my old B. Dalton store because I really liked vampire stories and these are from the south so hmmm... seemed cool.

This is fluff reading at its finest...

I've never heard of any of the authors in the book, but the stories aren't horrible.

its a 2007 printing.

I read some of A Christmas Carol today, trying to get in the spirit...lol.

And today in history, on to one of my MOST favorite subjects!!!

in 1606, the Virginia Company loads three ships with settlers and sets sail to establish Jamestown, Virginia the first permanent English settlement in the Americas. (We don’t count Roanoke, everyone got owned)

12/19/11

2011-12-19T23:19:00.000-05:00

This post is sponsored by Holiday Therapy!

Now that is done... lol... All I need to say is RETAIL MAKES YOU ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!

My book of the day is actually brought to you by my amazing husband who got this for me last Christmas because he knows me better than ANYONE. You know, a lot of biographies seem vague in research...but this one isnt, Schiff does an amazing job and wow was this good to read, I adored it.

I am usually pretty picky but I really liked this one. The way she goes into Cleopatra's family dynamic and how that shapes this enigmatic woman is awesome, I cannot say enough good things, I think this one is good enough that even my fellow historians who insist on RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH will approve.

Its published by Little Brown in 2010 and its now in paperback for those who want a less expensive copy.

Man I am sucking on the personal reading, Midnight Rising and a book about what famous figures in history ate... yea, sounded cool.

But I really do recommend this one, I know I love John Brown, but its an interesting book and it really gives insight into the growing divide in America leading to the Civil War.

1843 – Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol goes on sale for the first time, let Tiny Tim’s magic be born and the lessons of what greed can do be taught by the chain toting Jacob Marley. I think I could tell the story by heart, and like everyone, I love the story. It is actually a Dickens I can stomach.

A reminder, be kind to people during the holidays or Jacob Marley may visit YOU!

I hope I make it to post every day this week...but I work retail and its christmas!

12/18/11

2011-12-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

I didn't love this book, I know a lot of people did, but I didn't. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't what everyone said it was either...maybe I am too picky.
I thought there were parts that didn't add up and the most compelling characters disappear while some of the most annoying stay throughout.
I didn't read World Without End.

Title Pillars of the Earth
By: Ken Follett

This is just some paperback edition I picked up at the Friends of the Library Booksale for a whole two dollars.

Last Night I downloaded the Common Book of Prayer used by the Anglican church, just reading it...

1916 – World War I: The Battle of Verdun ends when German forces under Chief of Staff Erich Von Falkenhayn are defeated by the French, and suffer 337,000 casualties.

12/17/2011

2011-12-18T01:33:00.000-05:00

Another amazing book sale find.

1809 Edition, Published by The Book League of America

I have a little love for Washington Irving :D

12/16/11

2011-12-17T00:04:00.000-05:00

I adore Neil Gaiman. This love affair began with Sandman many many years ago and flourished into a deep respect for his storytelling abilities when it came not novels. His style, is almost a modern fairy tale one, with grit, dirt, and reality. You believe in these characters, even when they do the fantastical and you ache and hurt for them when they ache and hurt, or you loathe them when you are supposed to.

I enjoyed American Gods not just because of the context, or the representations that each character has, but because of Gaiman's simplistic and yet complex ability to tell a story and pull you in.
Honestly, I wouldn't start with this book.... Perhaps Neverwhere or Stardust, but you'd have to ease into American Gods once you are sure you like his writing, not all people will.

My favorite Neil Gaiman book Anansi Boys.

What I am reading?

I downloaded a new history book on my nook color which has to do with things famous historic figures ate, who knows, may be good... it was 1.99

This Day in History:

1653 – English Interregnum: The Protectorate – Oliver Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England, Scotland and Ireland.

12/15/11

2011-12-15T23:09:00.000-05:00

One of the first Anne Rice books I read, not counting Interview... amazing.

I adore Anne Rice, and I can easily say she is my favorite author, now I do not like all of her books, I am not a big fan of her Christ books she did, just not my thing...but even her non-supernatural stuff is beautiful to me.

I remember reading Interview with the Vampire as a child, yea I know...I'm special.

The first time I picked it up was in an old used book shop that used to be on Davis Drive out here in Warner Robins, my Nana (most awesome) took me there to buy me some books and since I didn't really read a lot of kids books...I found myself with this used and beat up version of Interview, I remember it because it had real people on the cover and it was creepy.

So, after reading a good bit of the vampire chronicles and reading Cry to Heaven...which is one of the BEST Anne Rice books EVER written....

A novel about the Italian Castrati singers.... beautiful.

I picked up The Mummy.

This is the ONE book that Anne Rice doesn't have a sequel to that she SHOULD.... omg, its amazing. If you have not read it, read it.... and if you like mummies, you will adore this.

Its wonderful, and Rice did a good bit of research on Egypt before she wrote it, its lovely.

“The Romans can not be condemned for the conquest of Egypt; we were conquered by time itself in the end. And all the wonders of this brave new century should draw me from my grief and yet I can not heal my heart; and so the mind suffers; the mind closes as if it were a flower without sun” Work has seriously cut into my reading time! Damn the holidays, but I will say that Midnight Rising is starting to pick up and I am enjoying it, Horowitz has a great storytelling style.

I did find a new book I wanted to read today...

OMG I MUST READ THIS

The Title alone makes me chuckle, its 22 dollar ebook price is typical for history books and I suspect I will purchase it with christmas gifts.

I know I am already pretty well versed in the history of England, but you know.... never can know enough. ;)

Speaking of knowledge!!!!

This day in history!!!!!

1917 – World War I: An armistice is reached between the new Bolshevik government and the Central Powers.

WOOOOO WWI FTW! I shouldnt like a war so much.

12/14/11

2011-12-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

Loved this book

Facing East from Indian Country

By: Daniel R. Richter

Harvard University Press / 2001

This book tells the story of Westward expansion from the perspective of the Native Americans, its an amazing book, I read it for a Native American history course I took in college.

Had a great professor who specializes in the subject.

`De Soto's enslavement of thousands of Native men and women many of whom died under their burdens or were abandoned deep in enemy territory-- must have had a deep effect on communities already in demographic and political flux."

-p 34

What Am I Reading?

"aka, what is on my nook"

I'm still reading Midnight Rising, though a friend at work loaned me Beastly, its wonderfully terrible.... so much so, I cannot rip myself away. :D

So since I don't have much of an update on what I am reading, I thought I would show you which bookshelf I am pulling from for my book of the day selections currently, as you can see...it will be quite a while before I switch shelves.

The first of 9 shelves.

Anyway, the Horowitz book is slower than expected, but maybe it will pick up.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

December 14th

Aside being the day of George Washington's death in 1799, it was the day Mary Stuart became Mary Queen of Scots in 1542.

12/13/11

2011-12-13T15:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, I got a bit artsy with this one.

Damned Women : Sinners and Witches in Puritan New England

By: Elizabeth Reis

1999 Cornell University Press

Oh this book, what can I say about it, I loved it. The professor that assigned this book has probably given me the most wonderful books of my college career to read, Grad school and PhD work will have a hard act to follow in the realm of just great books and engaging books to read. This book, focusing on witch claims during the Puritan era is breathtaking and insightful with a stunning array of wonderful research.

It was one of those books I couldn't find anything wrong with... I liked it so much.

I understand that some may shy away from academic texts, but if you have the chance, I recommend this one.

Here is a link to the book, you can get it pretty cheap.

"Laity and magistrates, women and men alike shared the belief that the devil could intrude in various costumes and demand that his victims serve him."
p. 71

Finally completing We Need to Talk About Kevin, I decided to move on to non-fiction for my next read on the nook color. I've started Tony Horowitz's Midnight Rising: John Brown and the Raid that Sparked the Civil War. I'll preface this with the fact that I have a growing fascination with the Civil War, which is rather funny if you knew me oh say...three years ago, when I despised the subject. Being southern and a historian in training... the assumption that you will love the Civil War and lament the loss to the evil yanks is an assumption that I loathe. I don't hold a great deal of sympathy for the South... I don't agree with the constitutionality of secession, and in truth, I believe the entire war was a treasonous rebellion in defense of a disgusting practice that an entire region relied on instead of trying to move towards industrialization and the future. So, for a long time, I did not read about, did not study, did not care about the Civil War. College changed all that, and thankfully after having an amazing professor for a Civil War class, reading some awesome books and (regardless of how accurate Ken Burns can be) watching one of the best documentaries I have ever seen Ken Burn's Civil War, I have a new respect and fascination with the subject. I particularly love the oddities of the war, or in this case...oddities before the war... John Brown.

So... This is what I am reading!
Midnight Rising

This Day in History:

December 13th

In 1867, a Fenian bomb explodes in Clerkenwell, London, killing six.

December 12th, 2011

2011-12-12T11:12:00.000-05:00

I have a few new features today for my blog, all related to bookish things or history so its all good.

First off... I'm going to start talking about what I am currently reading on top of the usual book of the day off my shelf and I have also decided to sometimes feature "On this day..." kind of a daily history thing because I am a nerd and I love history.

What I am reading now?

Well, what I finished reading at 8:30 this morning?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

By: Lionel Shriver

Link to the Book

This book is a psychological head rush and often difficult to read, but not in a bad way. The novel, which is basically about the way in which a mother deals with her sociopath sixteen year old son after he commits a massacre at his high school is relevant, but chilling. It is not mushy, it is not overwrought with emotion, and it doesn't pull any punches. The main character, the mother, Eva, writes her husband Franklin in order to explain in detail the problem she always saw in her son...the problems he refused to see. Eva is not always likable, she is pretentious, she is cold, almost surgical, and she had a detachment from the son who never wanted her and often played a long lasting psychological game that only seemingly ended after his massacre and the devastation it caused. Eva looks down on most middle class Americans, big cars, and she makes a perfect antagonist at times...because even for those who may hold the same ideals as she does....you dislike her because she is so pompous and full of herself and yet at the same time... she is miserable, she has settled for a life she didn't want and in return received a child who loved no one, and felt nothing... It is a dark book and I enjoyed the read because Shriver pulls you into this life, this destroyed life that Eva now lives... To me, it is a great deal more honest than some of the other things I have read relating to this subject, which in itself is pretty taboo. The book is not for everyone... its harsh and cold and cruel.

Book of the Day

Title: Restoration and Eighteenth Century Comedy (A Norton Critical Edition) 1997

I picked this one up at the friends of the library booksale about three years ago, for two dollars... I have a thing for Norton Critical Editions, I love them.

Yay, Comedy!

The text I probably like the most in the book is School for Scandal by Sheridan. And now for our New feature!

On this day in history:

1098 – First Crusade: Massacre of Ma'arrat al-Numan – Crusaders breach the town's walls and massacre about 20,000 inhabitants. After finding themselves with insufficient food, they resort to cannibalism.

December 11th, 2011

2011-12-11T10:15:00.001-05:00

It's been a few days since my last post. I often wonder if it matters if I don't post something or if I skip a few days, with so few followers, I wonder if a book of the day even matters when there is so much in cyberspace to occupy a person, but I enjoy the blog, it gives me something to do.

Purchased in London, England 2011

There are days I wish we spent more time in England, maybe two weeks...maybe enough to spend an entire month, or just move there and live in a small flat, I could find a temp job somewhere...it's a dream. I loved not only the buildings and the people and the history I was so familiar with that upon finding a place I read about I instantly felt akin to it.... but it was the smaller things... the tiny places to eat, the little shops with old books and fresh cheese, it was the variety, the mix of people, the everything.

My fascination with the British extends to the wars they fought in and the Great War has always held with me a level of reverence and interest. I love not only reading about the little intricacies of battle or who caused what, ect... but I have a fascination with what that war in particular did to a people, a civilization that seemed burnt and soiled after the war.

Poets especially, placed into words, the horror and disillusionment of that war. I read their words and I wonder why on earth anyone would find it good to fight, to kill, to destroy... for whatever reason.

Rupert Brooke is one of my favorite voices of the war, even though he died soon after it began, in 1915 of septicaemia. If you have the priviledge of reading his pre-war words in comparison to the words he wrote during the war, its a vital look at what I think a war like that did to an entire generation of boys going off to be the heroes in a war that would only last until Christmas, as they always are.

Blow bugles, blow! They brought us, for our death,

Holiness, lacked so long, and love, and pain.

Honour has come back, as a king, to earth,

And pain his subjects with a royal wage;

And Nobleness walks in our ways again;

And we have come into our heritage.

-The Dead 1915 p 21

December 6th 2011

2011-12-06T18:10:00.001-05:00

Today I have spent the afternoon drinking tea and cleaning up the house, its one of those days. I did have a lovely lunch with a friend and my awesome husband found me a stash of Twinings Christmas Tea at the local Wal-Mart after searching the entire city for it...

My book of the day today... on the top shelf of one of my 9 bookcases... is

One of Those Russian Novels
By: Kevin Cantwell

This is a signed edition, because the author is also an amazing professor I took once, and a really neat person.

October 2009, I picked it up at the release for the book, where he and some others read, which was awesome... it was a great night.

Modern poetry, with a very storytelling style, I like it.

You should pick it up if you can find it.

Publisher: What Books Press

December 5th, 2011

2011-12-05T20:49:00.001-05:00

YES.. THIS is a TWILIGHT BOOK.

Now that we have that out of the way... lets get on with it.
This is a small novella that talks about a character that is in the book Eclipse, which is probably my favorite out of the Twilight Saga books, yes I have read them... yes... all four. No, I didn't hate them.

Twilight is sappy teen love mush, because its written for teenage girls... and so I am not asking for anything else but that... these books aren't in fiction by Steinbeck or Joyce, they are surrounded by other sappy teen love novels and no one can tell me that Sweet Valley High was any better.... everyone has their fluff reading so all the backlash against these books I think is just as silly as the books themselves can be at times. Let people read what they want.... it is what it is.

That being said... Breaking Dawn was the most disappointing end to a series I have ever read in my life and if it wasn't so stupid laughable, I might have been angry I read it.

So, I read the Twilight books, I don't hate them.... myself and the millions of other women who read them are not morons... thanks.

December 4th 2011

2011-12-04T17:15:00.001-05:00

First off, please excuse how beat up this book looks... lol, it was a used college school book, so just imagine the abuse it has seen.
This book was an assigned read in a Native American History class I took at Macon State College and probably the book I liked the most out of that class just because of the small story that really translated into a larger problem. The struggle to make Native Americans adapt and change to be white, which made no sense, seeing as it was destroying a culture. The book is touching, anger inducing, and very relevant I think when it comes to how often a dominant culture seeks to eradicate another culture just because it is different. I liked the book a lot and I appreciate my professor for assigning it.

Boarding School Seasons: American Indian Families, 1900-1940
By: Brenda J. Child
Published by: University of Nebraska Press

December 2nd 2011

2011-12-02T11:04:00.001-05:00

A surprising hit with me...get it, hit.

During my undergraduate studies at Macon State College, I took a great many history classes that just sounded cool, regardless if I needed them or not, this probably lengthened my years at MSC, but I didn't mind, I love that place.

Anyway, I took a sports history class and this was one of my favorites from the class, and also the next book on my shelf. Now, unfortunately this does not reach my top five books of all time, but it is close... I'd say top 50, which is saying a lot if you saw the mountain of books I owned.

I never knew boxing was so interesting, I loved this book and thank Dr. Zimmerman for assigning it. Its not just about boxing, and I recommending for anyone who likes good Non-fiction reads.

The Manly Art: Bare-Knuckle Prize Fighting in America

By: Elliot J. Gorn

Publisher: Cornell University Press

"Little more than a decade separated Morrissey's alleged complicity in the murder of William Poole and his election to congress. Amidst the ethical laxity of Gilded Age business and politics, the elevation of a former bruiser seemed to guardians of propriety an especially telling sign of moral decline." -p 127

November 30th, 2011

2011-11-30T13:38:00.003-05:00

Is it already the end of November, wow 2011 flew by at a record pace. That being said, it was a busy and eventful year and with that comes the time flying. Lets see... in 2010 I graduated college, I went to England, I started the grad school process... visited various places, and pretty much had a great year. We got our lovely Lizzie, who has graced this blog so many times...she needs no introduction. So yea, its flown by...wow.

Blogger is being a pain and it wont upload my pic for my book of the day. Which is a bargain basement gem that I picked up at another booksale somewhere at some point in time lol for a whopping 50 cents.

A History of Urban America
by Charles N. Glaab and A. Theodore Brown
published in : 1967 from the University of Wisconsin- Milwaukee

Its last chapter, the Emergence of a Metropolis... interesting in the perspective of what we see as big cities now. But, well worth the 50 cents. :)

Sorry folks, no pictures of it today... it wont upload. Blogger hates me.

THERE WE GO... GOT IT

November 29th 2011

2011-11-29T23:50:00.001-05:00

As I stated last time, I have a past with literature. My literature obsession is so huge that I actually had a professor who would pick on me for my adoration of the Romantics, who I still adore by the way. Now before I was lured to the dark side of studying history, when I had that brief affair with literature (secretly... we still see each other, please don't tell the wars that, they get jealous), I had a particular love for poetry.
So... for my book of the day, which is book number 5 or so on the closest of my 9 bookshelves is a little more artsy.

This is one of multiple collections of Eliot's poetry in my possession. I usually HATE modern poetry... I will spare you my diatribe against The Red Wheelbarrow because if you know me... you've heard it. That being said, I adore Eliot completely. He was a modernist, but his words tinged on the Romantic now and again and his imagery, especially after 1920, when the entire world had changed, just amazing. This particular edition, I picked up in Dublin, Ireland in an old bookshop. What I adored about that shop, right off the main street of Dublin which is bricked and covered with old buildings and flower vendors galore (yes I was in heaven), was the fact that along with this small paperback version of Eliot's poetry.... they also had first editions of Eliot and Wilde and Joyce...you can imagine, I had a small heart attack before purchasing this as a little reminder of the wonderful shop where I was able to see such beautiful things.

"In this decayed hole among the mountains
In the faint moonlight, the grass is singing
Over the tumbled graves, about the chapel
There is the empty chapel, only the wind's home."

-What the Thunder Said p.66

November 24th, 2011

2011-11-24T21:12:00.001-05:00

Another book sale find

Before I fell in love with history, I had an affair with literature. To be honest, I always loved history and literature. There was a time when I was a literature major and I immersed myself in Byron and Shelley on a daily basis, now its more like Grant and Napoleon but hey...

I believe, I am not sure, but I believe I have this entire set.

Materworks of World Literature Volume One

I picked this up for a whopping 75 cents, its a 1970 printing.

It includes The Odyssey, The Aaneid, Poetry by Sappho, The Song of Roland, part of the bible, and a selection from Don Quixote....vast.

"Ah, race of mortal men,

How as a thing of nought

I count ye, though ye live;

For who is there of men

That more of blessing knows,

Than just a little while

To seem to prosper well,"

-Sophocles

Oh and HAPPY THANKSGIVING

November 22nd 2011

2011-11-22T13:50:00.001-05:00

This book has seen better days.

My book of the day has seen better days I know, but as a student who read this book from cover to cover in a 20th century Europe class I took a few years ago, It spent a great deal of time at the bottom of a bookbag or purse, and endured a lot of travel and wear. This is a very broad cover of the 20th century, but its a good book, I liked it...even if it was for class.

The End of the European Era: 1890 to the Present

By Felix Gilbert and David Clay Large

2009 edition / 6th

I have been doing a lot of work on my laptop lately and I guess my laptop revolted, because of a damaged SD card drive, I am going to send it in to be repaired. The very nice tech guy who came by the house today could not fix the problem and thus it needs to get sent in, that is when it is good to have a warranty.

:)

November 20th 2011

2011-11-20T19:06:00.001-05:00

Look who is feeling so much better. She's adorable and just a joy. Had to post it.

Here is my book of the day.... I'm sort of liking this feature, reminding myself of what books I have lol. Today's book, "Leningrad: State of Siege" by Michael Jones.
Let me just say, I like WWI a lot better than WWII when it comes to study of course...I don't like any war. BUT...if I had to choose something about WWII that I loved to read about, it would be the Eastern Front and Russia. This book is pretty good, not the best, but good.

"Voroshilov claimed that he had improved the efficiency of the Red Army through a series of much needed reforms. He had certainly instituted a startling career-advancement system in the wake of the purges: henceforth a commander's technical training and organisational abilities would be discounted in favour of his class background and participation in the ritual denunciation of colleagues."

-p 69 Book was published in 2008

Book of the Day

2011-11-19T19:26:00.001-05:00

One of the many text books I have picked up over the years.

I have a love of history books, now I know that isn't really a shock, but when I go to old sales or when I am trolling about online, I tend to pick up history books that catch my fancy. One of those fancies is Text books. This one, I picked up at the Macon Friends of the Library Book Sale. It is a pretty old text book for history standards, 1983, but it has some good generalized information and such.

"British America was overwhelmingly rural. The colonial farm, not the bustling seaport, sprawling plantation, or picturesque town, was the center and symbol of colonial life." -p.113

I have tons of these types of books laying around, we will probably get to them all.

In other news, I have been working on some new things... Pretty soon I will be doing some research at Macon State college, I am excited about that and also I will be hopefully starting Grad School in the Summer... pretty exciting time for me.
On the side, I am working on a small little artistic venture called Fariequeene's Prints. I love photography and I thought about trying to sell prints online, so if you know anyone who is looking for some inexpensive decorations, you can get these in 8x10 for only 12 dollars unframed and as low as 17 dollars framed.

FARIEQUEENE'S PRINTS

Book of the day

2011-11-18T14:24:00.001-05:00

The Second book on my closest shelf, Y The Last Man Volume One. When people say Comics cannot be a s good as a novel...this is where I can trump them. One of the best stories I ever had the pleasure of reading and also one of the reasons I refuse to read comics anymore... they just dont make them like they used to.

Read IT!

Y The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan

Sooo...

2011-11-17T22:51:00.001-05:00

I have a lot of books, and when I say a lot... I mean over 2000 of them. So, I am going to start featuring books I own.

First one UP.... is the first on the closest of my 8 bookshelves...

I ordered this book back in February used and it was because John Keegan recommended it. It is a great overview of the war, nothing too in depth, but for a popular history it is an amazing look at the war that most people just do not know enough about. What makes this book great? I love the photographs inside of it, really nice.

Random Passage:

"On 31 May 1917 Bandsman Poitou wrote home to his wife that he had seen a train bringing soldiers back from leave in Paris to Chateau Thierry: 'the poilus were singing the Internationale, crying down with the war, long live the revolution. I believe it is the portent of an imminent revolt.' it was not, but that was not evident at the time, and it worried more significant players than Poitou. On 8 May Petain was appointed to succeed Nivelle as commander in chief."
-page 242

The Love of a Dog

2011-11-15T10:05:00.001-05:00

I have not had the time to post a blog in a while, it has been a bit busy, hectic, insane around the Wilson estate, but its time to get back to blogging and my first blog is something that is very important to me.

Not 100% but feeling better

This amazing creature came into our lives in May of 2011. We had just come home from England and both of us discussed getting a bigger dog and the opportunity came about. When I saw Lizzie I fell in love. Back in May, when we picked her up from to take her home, I could carry her to the car, that was a loooong time ago. Now, She can stand up and almost look me in the eye and shes a bit big for me to pick up, though over the last few days... I have.

Not everyone understand the devotion and love that some people have with a pet. I have heard, many times... its just a dog. No, its not just a dog... its a loving creature who shares its life with you, is there for when you are happy and sad....loves you no matter what and can tell when you are having a good day or bad and tries with everything in them to be there. Lizzie is a part of our family and we love her just as much as if she was a person. Adam and I don't have children, we made that choice, and instead we have this adorable and loving little puppy.

Lizzie has a sensitive tummy, so last week when she threw up once or twice I was immediately like...what did she get into? We have taken away trash, pot holders, toys, shoes, you name it, this vibrant 7 month old has somehow reached it and carried around in her mouth like a prized trophy. But, when she was still sick late in the night, I knew something was wrong. After one of the most nervous days at work in my life... I rushed home last Wednesday and found Lizzie not herself, she was very sick and I knew it... and in a panic I took her to the only vet that was still open. After a while there, we found out she had parvo.

For people who don't have dogs, Parvo is a devastating dog virus that erodes the lining of a dogs stomach and kills them by pretty much dehydrating them. It is dangerous, it is horrible, and for puppies... sort of easy to catch. Parvo can stay in the ground for up to 7 months... so a dog could wander across your front lawn and have it, your dog could lick an area where they did their business (as dogs do) and boom.... have it. Somehow Lizzie had contracted Parvo and for three days she stayed in the doggy hospital with very very worried and anxious parents, but by last Saturday...she had perked up, the vet (who is an amazing and wonderful person) was really hopeful and said we could take her home.

It's now Tuesday, almost a week since she started showing signs of the illness and now...instead of having to try to beg her to eat or drink anything... she wants to eat all the dog food in the house, which means she is going to be alright! She's lost a lot of weight and she's not as hyper as she was, but she is on the mend and our little Lizzie is going to be just fine. I am not embarrassed or ashamed that most of last weekend I cried my eyes out in worry. A lot of people have no clue how dear a pet is and there are even some that do understand and refrain from having one because of the heartache that comes when you lose one....and I understand that.

After these past months with Lizzie though and with the adoration and love of our other dogs, I realize how very lucky Adam and I are to have these amazing creatures in our lives. Dogs love you unconditionally, even when you make a mistake, even when you are in a horrible mood, even when no one else seems to and we need that kind of love sometimes, especially in a world where a lot of people just refuse to understand the wonders of grace and love anymore.

It Has Been A While

2011-10-17T19:47:00.000-04:00

What a busy life I lead right? Over the past few weeks we have had company, been uber busy or just too lazy to blog. It is a mix of both I think. I have had a lot to say, but why say it over and over again when it doesn't matter.
I have been following the Occupy movement, and I support it. I don't like the way the corporate banking system has complete power over our government and I think if we keep allowing corporations to have as much power as the people, then the people will be suffering for it...we just don't have the capital to stop them.
I believe in regulations
I believe in working together to making the world better
I believe in sharing the wealth.

I am sorry if that makes people uncomfortable.

Free Speech

2011-10-02T19:49:00.000-04:00

I have to be careful when I see people get angry over the wallstreet protests... its against the self-interest of many of the people who don't agree with the way banks have power and the way wallstreet controls our government to disagree with these protesters, but its their right...however duped or misinformed they are...
But it really pisses me off...
To see those who probably boast at being patriotic crapping on people who are BEING PATRIOTIC by BEING AMERICAN. The Protest, Free Speech, that is a basic building block of our country.
Thats it.

2011-09-19T17:43:00.000-04:00

Add Molly and Poppy to this... (often camera shy) and you have our family... they may be annoying sometimes, but we love them :D

Backwards

2011-09-17T23:31:00.000-04:00

I am in awe of the amount of people lately who protect the rich and completely dump on the poor. Are we in bizzaro land? Did the world turn upside down and I just not realize it? Time and time again I see people rail on the poor, just steam roll over them, describing them as the lowest of the low because they just so happen to not have monetary wealth. Did you know... some people...choose to be poor? According to half of the blow hards around my area, its totally true. People choose to just sit and be poor and unhappy because all they had to do if they REALLY wanted to was to get up and pull up their bootstraps and get better jobs.
Yea... ok...NO
I think especially, after the last few years with Wall Street and the corruption therein, we may want to be a bit mad at the rich in this country? While poor people don't have food, homes, electricity, and savings... while they cannot go to the doctor, get medication, and die... rich men are getting government bail outs and making more money.

Something is wrong here and I for one... am confused.

Lilly | Vote for the Next Pet Star - Photo Contest | Show Us Your Pet's Healthy Smile

2011-09-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

Lilly | Vote for the Next Pet Star - Photo Contest | Show Us Your Pet's Healthy Smile

Further Thoughts on Religion

2011-09-14T12:10:00.000-04:00

Now that I have all the negative out of the way... let me just say this...
I know good Christians, Muslims, Pagans, Agnostics, and Atheists. I know people who would give half of their last dollar to help someone else and that may be because they are following Jesus, Allah, the Goddess, or their own moral compass.... and I applaud these people. It is uplifting to see people of all faiths do it right. Love, care, uplift, do whatever they can do for their fellow man just because they know deep down it is the right thing to do.
I have seen the amazing works of a small church who give almost everything they have to those who suffer regardless of what those who suffer believe... I have seen a Muslim not only reach out, but try to help people who don't, understand their faith and I have seen non-combative agnostics and atheists (because I despise the combative ones who think just because someone has a faith, they are ignorant). Perhaps I am lucky, because I know so many diverse people who do it right as opposed to the world around me who gets it wrong... For someone like me, who really wants to understand faith and religion, the concept of a higher power... it can be discouraging.
I know that a good percentage of the GOP proclaims to be Christian. But, I have a huge issue with cheering because a Texas governor executed over 200 people and I have an even bigger problem when people cheer because these same candidates say let those without insurance die. I don't understand that, I don't comprehend how you can be so cruel and cold and yet stand under the bastion of Christian faith. I have seen true Christians, they love so much it hurts. They sacrifice their own stability in the hopes of helping more people. And yet, I can turn on television and see people use faith as a tool to recruit people to their cause and at the same time behave so unlike any Christian that its appalling. Now, I said last time that not everyone has it in them I think to be truly selfless....I know I don't. I try, but I have my moments where that cute new outfit online is WAY more important than anything at the time... I' human and so is everyone else.
I just wish anyone would take a second before condemning someone else... for their faith, for their sexual orientation, for their beliefs....
Now, that being said.... the things I was mad about in my last post stand. I try to see cutting small animals to do a pagan ritual you have no connection to because a black metal band is cool.... but thats stupid. I know I keep going back to that but... man that infuriated me.
I respect a person's choice to wear a hijab if they wish... I may not get it, but I respect it. I respect someone's choice to be whatever faith they wish to be... and I may not always understand that. Someone needs to really sit down with me and explain how Pastafarianism is a good thing... lol.
I just struggle with this because I am heartbroken when I see people who are sick and have to choose between eating and getting medication... especially when they are older or infirm or so cripplingly poor that they cannot help themselves. I am also terrified for people who are innocent of crimes but have spent years on death row and don't get the chance to make it to an appeal. I read John Grisham's An Innocent Man a few years ago, and that is heartbreaking... because this guy did nothing and went to prison for it.
So... right now, people are applauding because men are dying in prison and sick people without insurance don't get care.... what does that say about our society?
I think that even though Trent Reznor has not been a fan of organized religion and often has criticized it harshly in his music, he says it best when in one of his songs he says....
"I'm on my hands and knees I want so much to believe."
I want to believe that there is an innate good in people, but that is becoming so hard.

Faith, Religion, and the 99% of Posers in the World

2011-09-13T00:55:00.000-04:00

I have been pondering religion a great deal lately, not faith, but religion. When I say that, I mean in a more cultural sense. This really started when Dr. Misguided (I dare not say his real name, I wouldnt do that) and I got into a conversation at work while I was helping him purchase some books that are historically inaccurate, but reinforce his misconceptions about this country and its history. He made a statement about adapting to a culture. It was in reference to immigrants who move to America and adapt American culture and those who don't and then he referenced Muslims and referenced their religion, their faith...a culture and not a religion, not a faith. I do not think that is fair, he said everyone else adapted to American culture...why won't they and thats not entirely fair or true.
I do not think it is right to diminish anyone's faith just because you think you are the one's on the right side of the fence of religion. So... you are a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu.... you all think you are right and everyone else is wrong... I am just going to say now... there isn't much logic to that.
Tolerance and understanding is an amazing thing, but at the same time...its very very hard. I am going to reference my own intolerance of Islam as an example, my own flaw, my own display of judgement. I have read a great deal of the Koran. unlike many who criticize it, I have not cherry picked a few passages out of the book to illustrate how violent or unrelenting it is because in all truth, I have read the bible too...and it say some pretty harsh, judgmental and violent things itself so I am going to go back to he who is without sin cast the first stone and say both books can be pretty brutal and unfriendly at times. The main difference is the bible has a new testament and the koran doesn't. But, with all my understanding and my neutrality... i abhor the way women are treated in Islam. I see the hijab as an affront to women, an oppression and no matter how many Islamic women I see taking up for it, I despise it...I despise that in Islam a woman has to hide herself as to not tempt the weakness of a man... grow a pair and learn how to control yourself and let women be the equal creatures they are... MAN that is hard to tolerate.
I also have my problems with Christianity, especially the modern takeover of Christianity by Evangelicals who rarely have a true christian bone in their bodies. They dont cater to the poor, they don't love anything unconditionally, and they sure dont act anything like Jesus...the one person they are set to emulate. It offends me.... all these laissez-faire Christians who are pious on Sunday but are horrible the other six days disgust me in all honesty because they are as fake as the handbags I once purchased at a straw market in the Bahamas, but they have the gumption to tell me I am not a good person because I don't fake it.
Then there are the fake pagans...yea I have it out for them too. Listen just because you hate black people, you had a hankering for some Scandinavian black metal and you dream about being Nordic doesn't mean it is your heritage to worship the all father. And just a clue... Scandinavian people... don't do that crap either, most of them converted to Christianity before America was even a glimmer in the eye of the world and before any shred of your ancestry came into existence in the gene pool. So, just because you go on Facebook and make a picture of Odin your icon and then talk about blood letting some innocent animal so you can make some foolish sacrifice to a god who belongs to a long gone culture that you are not related to doesn't make you anything but a racist, animal abusing fool. Before you listen to some deep Bathory and Gorgoroth... realize that one, you are an American with no Norwegian ties and secondly.... using this as a way to cover up your deep flowing racial hatred doesn't hide that you are an overweight poser douche who lives with his mom and dreams about a heritage that isn't yours. I will admit, this one really gets my goat as of late... after someone posted on their facebook about ritually harming domesticated animals to do some sort of nordic pagan ritual that isnt even authentic to tie into their false nordic heritage as an excuse to hate anyone who isn't white and southern... jesus...just join the KKK and be honest about it...

In truth, faith should be something you feel inside, it should bring positive things, it should make you want to sacrifice to do good for others and it should actually adhere to the tenants it set out, not a half way thing. There is a concrete reason that not everyone has faith...not everyone has religion, because most people aren't up to the true task of sacrificing so much for the good of others in the name of something intangible

The Joy of Cooking?

2011-09-07T13:51:00.000-04:00

I posted a previous blog a few months back about cooking and how Adam and I cook for enjoyment. There is an episode of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" this season where he and a few other people in the food business are sitting around and talking about cooking/food/eating ect. They talked about going to exotic places, eating fantastic meals, getting into restaurants and such. I love to cook, I love eating and just the experience with my husband and others who are cooking / eating with me, but I think about it and I realize the sheer amount of people who just cannot afford such luxuries.
First world problems....
There are weeks when our budget is tight, but we have food on the table... we cook together, we can maintain and lately I have realized...there are people who do not have that luxury, but they also live in the First World....here.
I recently watched a documentary on children who live in hotels, who are basically homeless. Their families, made up of the working poor.

http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/homeless-the-motel-kids-of-orange-county/index.html

The fact that these kids get scary...scary food provided for the by the school they go to and then that may or may not be the only meal they have the rest of the day, upsets me beyond anything. If each person who had the funds gave a couple dollars a week to the hungry, would these kids be fed? Instead of a war on drugs and a war on terror...shouldn't we have a war on poverty?

How do you fight that war? I understand that our current welfare system is really messed up, but how do we help the working poor, those who cannot make it? I know people who work one and two jobs at minimum wage and they cannot even ponder getting above ground.... I know people who because of disabilities have to get supplemental help and they cannot even afford to live on their own, they have to rely on others to help and that is hard...that is so hard for them...

I want to help, I know a lot of people who do...I know a lot of people who fight the war on poverty, but for them at this point it is like sitting in a trench on the Somme in 1916. There are people living in such desperate poverty in America that the rest of the country would rather paint the poor as worthless lazy scum than acknowledge that this sort of suffering sits on all of our doorsteps.

Have we dehumanized poverty to accept it? How many of us will sleep tonight with a roof over our heads and food in our belly? How many wont?

Click here to feed the hungry

In Contradiction

2011-09-04T01:45:00.000-04:00

For a little while, I had a difficult time watching historically based films because I knew what really happened and noticed when something was wrong. I even railed about a small change in Shakespeare In Love for a bit. But in truth, I do have moments where the beauty of the film can override the inaccuracy and I can still get lost in it. Two of my favorite historical films are Elizabeth and Young Victoria. Now both are on English queens and I know my obsession, let it go lol.... Anyway, both films while very good, have some overwhelming discrepancies.
In Elizabeth, the relationship Queen Elizabeth had throughout her life with Robert Dudley was improperly portrayed and ended abruptly when he was under the employ of Spain. In reality, though Elizabeth and Dudley had their outs, they were close throughout their entire lives. Perhaps that didn't make for good film. In Young Victoria, there is a scene where an assassin attempts to kill Victoria early on during her reign. This event did happen, but the film is much different than the real events. In reality, Albert, Victoria's husband did not get hurt during the attack, but in the film, he is shot. A bit more dramatic and a climax of the film to seal their closeness as a married couple. Victoria and Albert was a devoted couple until Albert's death.

There are things though, about the films that are truly perfect which perhaps relay something important about the characters that dialog and story cannot. In Elizabeth, its all about color. The subtle use of pastels and lighter hues when she is young, just a Princess and in contrast, the rich and beautifully intricate designs of things around her once she is queen amplifies the grandeur of her reign. In Young Victoria, there are moments of simplicity that convey how practical Victoria was... both, while atmospheric... do a lot to tell the story and emphasize things that are important.

so see... I can like historical inaccuracy when its done right :D

In Addition....

2011-09-03T10:15:00.001-04:00

For some good news... I think I am going to try to bake a new pie Adam found for me today.

Bad Food

2011-09-03T10:11:00.000-04:00

On a search to find dinner last night, which I ended up not eating because of my medication... we realized that another restaurant in our area has closed thanks to a down economy and our area's insistence on eating crap food. We liked the local chinese place on Russel Parkway in Warner Robins because the food was always cooked well with care and the staff remembered you. We pulled in the driveway and found it was closed. Yet, across the street the Ruby Tuesday (which is one of the most disgusting places to eat on earth) was packed. I just don't get it, that is one of multiple local eateries that has closed over the past year while crap food prospers...
Sad.

Live Action Cowboy and the curse of a remake

2011-09-02T00:19:00.000-04:00

I worked in the music department at work tonight and while sometimes that specific task can be tedious, it does give me a chance to get familiar with what is out and popular. I found myself, right before close...when all my tasks were done wandering the isles aimlessly. Being the art snob that I am (lol not really), I ended up staring at the foreign film section that we have...while small, it does have some cool stuff in it and I happened upon a copy of the Cowboy Bebop movie. Now, if you don't know what Cowboy Bebop is, its an anime and if you don't know what anime is...wow I have a lot to explain.
Now, I like some anime... I am not one of those pretentious people who ignores an entire genre of an art just because I think I am above it. I watched my first anime around 1996 and while I wasn't immediately in love with the genre... years later, after a few failed attempts... I found Cowboy Bebop. It is a classic sci-fi /action adventure anime series that has an amazingly beautiful dark ending and I don't care how pretentious you are, if you sat down and watched it all... you too would adore it. Anime can be good, it can be serious and this one....while at times dramatic, has everything a classic epic should have.
The story, a former mafia man gone good basically daring himself to get killed every chance he gets because he cheated death and lost everything...in his journey creates his own rag tag group of outcasts but in the end...do gooders and nothing ever ends up quite right and Spike, your tragic hero is on the course to end the way he should...tragically but amazingly....
I don't give it enough credit.... and thanks to Cowboy Bebop being one of the first series I watched in full.... there is a reason I don't like much anime, because nothing is like Cowboy Bebop....
So, as I stared at the cover of the feature length film they did in 2000, I thought about a magazine article I read back in 2009 that talked about a Cowboy Bebop live action film in the works (staring Keanu Reeves) and I remembered how upset it made me. The series Cowboy Bebop as perfect and it doesn't need a remake...and that got me to thinking about how we do so many remakes, so many covers and how I usually 9 times out of 10 hate covers.... and thats why.
When I hear a band do a cover of a song I love... I just want to be like, leave it alone... it was amazing the way it was. Perhaps I am a purist, perhaps I am a bit unwilling to let go of the way something like that made me feel... but man after you have heard the 90000th electronic version of How Soon is Now when you really believe the Smiths did it best all those years ago.... something clicks inside of you and that is what clicks when I hear they are going to do a live action Cowboy Bebop.
So first off... please, if you haven't watched Cowboy Bebop, get over your inhibitions about anime, stop being a snob and sit down and watch a classic story unfold. I dare you. Secondly, please excuse the ramblings of someone who has been chewing on this topic all the way home and had to get it out. Finally, root for originals.... hey maybe they do have better special effects now and mucho money to pour into a project.... but sometimes the original is still the best, like playing the original zelda after all these years and still loving it even though link is like 20 really badly put together pixels and the most amazing graphic is something shooting some bad looking fire across a scroll screen....

Where did Fiction go?

2011-09-01T00:42:00.000-04:00

Recently, due to the fact that I could not find anything overwhelmingly compelling to read on my nook, I began re-reading some of my favorite classic novels. Now, I don't expect everyone on earth to enjoy 19th century novels the way I do....with their anachronistic looks at society and their (to others) dreary depictions of daily life, but I think that in reading books like Agnes Grey and Howard's End, I am beginning to notice a loss of true fiction in modern literature.
To make it today, it seems your novel has to have some genre or kooky twist.... just to get noticed. Amongst the most famous of today's authors.... James Patterson, John Grisham, Nora Roberts.... even these guys have to sometimes go out there to get some readership (and I think they suck)...hell Patterson is writing teen novels and supernatural novels (I say writing, most of his books are written by someone else). What happened to fiction without a twist?
Agnes Grey which was written in 1847 by Anne Bronte, is about the life of a young girl who is trying to help her financially struggling family. There are no grizzly murders, there are no vampires, werewolves, or even overly strange occurrenAces, the story is about a person's life and how a struggling family makes it in 19th century England. It is a well written and compelling novel and to me, well....since I do have a history degree.... its an interesting glimpse as to how people in the 19th century saw their own world.

I miss that type of fiction. There are writers to boast that they write real life fiction, like Jodi Picout, but even her novels are contrived....there is always a twist or a shocking ending to make you... think. It reminds me of watching the film A.I. and realizing that Speilburg just wanted to make me cry at some point, because if you make someone cry in a movie...it has to be good, no matter how contrived the scene is that gets you there.

There needs to more more Agnes Grey and less Duh duh DUHHHHHHH in fiction.

Acceptable Racism?

2011-08-30T00:08:00.000-04:00

I have never lived anywhere but the South. That being said, I am well aware, as most are, of the charged racial history of the South and the problems that charged racial history has created. I have these moments where I think it is important to stand up and speak against the blatant ignorance and racism here in the south, the blatant and ignorant racism that many deny...that many sweep under the rug, that many act as if doesn't happen...
but...go talk to anyone in New Orleans, go speak to some who are unfortunate enough to live in a small southern town and be of a different ethnicity than white and then try to pretend there is no racism...its impossible.

Lately, the town I am from has seen a rash of violent crime, mostly in the form of teenagers being shot and killed.... two in the morning on the way to school and three outside a sweet 16 birthday party. We like to worry about our first world problems a lot.... getting good coffee, being able to buy the video game we want, complaining about hardships at work.... when these kids are just trying to live and get shot doing normal things we take for granted.

I love how the people around here, instead of facing a growing problem in Macon and Middle Georgia...just go black kids, ignorant, shooting each other and then leaving it at that.... it is like because these kids who were shot just so happened to be black... then its not a bad thing they were shot. To be honest, a few responders at the Macon Telegraph even talked about how it was good to let them just shoot it out and let "social darwinism"take its course... it felt like a cold and stinging blast from 1960 and yet it was 2011 and even more disgusting than ever.

Poverty is a crippling thing, and statistically, many of the residents of Macon, Georgia live below the poverty line. With the average household income being 27,000 dollars a year for a family according to the census.... imagine what the low income people are really making when you take out outliers like lawyers or high paid individuals.... I wonder what the average income is then....when the poverty line is 22k a year and the average income in a city is 27k.... and crime is rising in areas of low income... shouldnt that tell you that poverty has a correlation to crime? No...according to the citizens of macon, its not about poverty but about color.... an inherent flaw in those who are not white to not be as good and that.... disgusts me.

People with no education and no hope, people who have been treated like less than human, worthless, useless, their entire lives.... what do you think they strive for? What do you think they dream about? We want to blame color, but we need to blame culture...selfishness, an unwillingness to reach out to others, and prejudice....and poverty....
I am disgusted with the people around here who like to still label a person of color as less of a person and if you think its not going on anymore.... you are blind.
We should all be ashamed.

The Information Age has Killed Art...redux

2011-08-28T14:06:00.000-04:00

I wrote this long blog about how today because of the information age... everyone thinks they are talented.
It reminds me of those pitiful people on American Idol who are so dismayed when they get booted off during auditions and told they have no talent when their family and friends have told them all their lives how talented they are... when they are not.
I wrote this rage against the false assurances that friends and family boost people with when they give out their works to read/listen to/ see..... and I deleted it by accident.

I will sum it up.
Art is mostly about talent and some about ambition. Not only does one need the ability to produce and create... but they also need the drive and the immersion in their work that would enable them to live the life and not just talk the talk. You cannot want to be anything just because you think it is cool.... you have to want it because it boils inside of you and is at the edge of your thoughts constantly. A good writer/artist/musician... lives the life of an artist. They involve themselves in the world of the creative, they talk to other writers/musicians/artists... they do everything they can and it is a passion that one cannot quiet. I think a lot of people right now because of the ease of getting out there (thanks to the internet) see the creative life as a cool one.... but is it because you long to create or is it because you have no idea what you want to do? When I was in 3rd grade, I thought baseball players were cool and I wanted to be a baseball player, but I am no longer an eight year old. The artist/writer/musician lives for their art and if you are unwilling to do that, then maybe... you just have a really involved hobby.

Doing Good

2011-08-23T11:06:00.000-04:00

You can't always tell what is going on from a picture.

Sometimes we look at the world with blinders on I think, it makes life easier.... We have our preconceived notions about people and what that does is keep things at arms length, "problem people" or "bad people" do not enter our purview. In truth though, things don't actually always appear as they are. I took this picture last night as a thunderstorm rolled over ValP Florida where we are staying on a mini-vacation with family. Well, we ended up staying an extra day thanks to bad Red Robin (blech....never again). In my picture, you cannot tell it is storming out and you cannot see the dark skies....so things look perfect.
In contrast, when a needy person is standing on your door and they may not seem to fit your "right kind of person" ideal.... turning them away doesn't make you a good person only dealing with good people...it makes you judgmental and bad.
Being privy to a story about a needy mother who escaped an abusive home with her children showing up on church doorsteps to help only to have them turn her away infuriated me. Isn't that what these people should WANT to do??? Help those who cannot help themselves??? I mean I know I have been on a roll as of late about laying praise on my father in law's church New Hope Baptist for being one of the few churches in my entire life that I have seen actually doing good, caring for others, delivering a message of love and hope to people regardless of what they believe... but again after this woman went to other places for help, this small church went out of their way to feed them, give them shelter and try to make their lives a little more bearable regardless of their background.
We live in a world of cynics. "I cannot make a difference," "I cannot help people," "I have a hard enough time helping myself," "they are just going to go out and buy drugs or alcohol anyway so whatever." I have heard all of these before and while it may make a person feel better at night because they have a "good" reason for not helping others, it doesn't make it any better.
I do little things, I know it is not a lot, but I do it with my heart and I do it because I care. I do not do it for any gratification or anything in the end except knowing that someone knows that they are not alone in the world that regardless of who they are...someone cares. I challenge people to do some good today for no other reason than to do it. Bring some hope to those who are hopeless....even if its a few dollars, giving a hungry person a sandwich, donating to a charity.... volunteering your time somewhere that reaches out to those in need. We have a lot of people out there right now who think they have no more hope...show them they are wrong.

Good Church

2011-08-18T23:02:00.000-04:00

I don't talk about religion much because I one... believe its a very personal thing and my beliefs might be very different from someone else's and I don't think I should judge or look down on someone for theirs....regardless of what it is...christian, muslim, hindu, pastafarian....whatever floats your boat and helps you in your life.
But... I do have an opinion about what is a good church.
Coming from the south as I do and seeing every street in the south flooded with tons of different churches, I wonder how there are so many needy people with all these churches because those who follow Christ, truly follow christ... devote themselves as Christ would to help those in need. So... when I see these giant mega churches who spend millions of dollars on fancy designs, pretty windows...ect ect.... I think about all that money that could actually go towards helping those who need it and not into a new flat screen or things of that nature.
I know of a good church and even though I tend to be a bit cynical about the whole concept on a personal level... I have more respect for this church and the people in it than I do every other big flashy church combined.
These people breathe helping others... they struggle, they hurt, and they want to do everything they can for those who need help and they don't judge the needy....they just see them and do what they can because its what one should do. Every time I read anything about this church...its them delivering food to the hungry, helping the homeless find homes, giving someone who is broken a helping hand to heal the hurt and let them know that even during the darkest times...they have people who care about them. These people aren't perfect, they are not rich... they have hard and stressful lives and somehow, a midst even the most stressful of times they will stop what they are doing and go help those who need it. It is an amazing and refreshing sight and they do it out of love because they truly believe the message of love that their faith delivers. A good church, a church like that should be busting at the seams with people wanting to help make home made items for the poor in third world countries, man sno-cone booths to help those suffering from disease, deliver dozens upon dozens of warm meals to those who would otherwise go hungry and yet the good churches.... the ones bursting with love and willing to do whatever they can for those in need, the ones who accept you no matter where you are from.... those are the churches that suffer.

I just think the small church that I am constantly impressed with should know how amazing they truly are. Never in my life have I deeply respected a church as I do this small congregation of people who would give their last bit of energy if they had to in order to ensure that an empty stomach was full and that those in need and alone knew they were not. These people should know...they are a good church and what all churches should be like.

I Love the Ocean

2011-08-02T23:02:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine and I went to Tybee Island today off the coast of Georgia, it was a more quiet beach on the Atlantic a little over three hours from my house. The water was wonderful, it was cool when the current came in and a refreshing break from the summer heat, we pretty much stayed in it the whole time...taking a small break to eat some awesome snacks and then back in the water to watch fish and dolphins swim about, it was a lovely day. Totally worth the drive. :D

W T F

2011-08-01T23:34:00.001-04:00

Thanks Congress....
For making it harder for me to go to school...so rich guys can keep all their tax breaks. I know I dont make much money and Im trying to better myself...I appreciate you agonizing over the problems with the budget so much by sticking it to the poor!

I am frustrated

2011-07-31T11:49:00.000-04:00

I read an article on cnn.com today that makes a ton of sense to me.

Here it is

I am frustrated by it as well, because I do vote and i do understand compromise and I do understand that this country was founded on compromise because unlike a good many of the tea party members, I have read...in great detail... the constitution.
I don't think it matters what political side you are on, but one of the basics of our society and always has been is to be an upstanding example to the rest of the world. If we do not pay our debts, if we get downgraded in the world and thus impact an already strained global economy, we aren't leading by example...we are showing the rest of the world how downright immature our society has become over the last two decades.
It really bothers me that so many people are SO insistent upon choosing Republican or Democrat rather than sit down at a table like adults and do what is best for this country and its people. The debt ceiling and the budget are TWO very separate things, and until some tea party blowhards who are not educated enough to hold the offices they do...made it an issue they could crusade about.... no one even cared about it.
Here are some facts -
Bush Jr. raised the Debt ceiling 5 times.
who voted FOR it... Cantor, Boehner, and McConnell all did. Here are the numbers:
June 2002 - 450 billion
May 2003 - 900 billion
Novemer 2004 - 800 billion
March 2006 - 781 Billion
September 2007 - 850 billion
Did you hear about it??? Was there a debate??? Was it even an issue??? NO.
Do you want to know why??? Because its a formality that has been around for years and years and years.... Reagan did it 16 times!!!
By the time Bush had been in office equal to the amount of time Obama has been in office now, he had raised the ceiling...twice.
If I were the president, and more worried about the state of my country than my re-election prospects... I would use the 14th amendment, raise the ceiling and tell people to shut up. We CANNOT be hijacked by the tea party. This is not a republican / democrat issue... the reputation and financial stability of our country is a US issue and should be dealt with that way.
Sitting on two sides of a room and drawing a line in the center and refusing to cross to do what is right has finally got on my last nerve. I don't care who you voted for, I dont care what "team" you say you are on.... we are a country built on working together and no one wants to because they are so polarized the refuse to look at someone else's pov.
I love this DONT raise revenue on people who make 350 thousand dollars a year.... DONT take away any benefit of my medicare ... DONT take any benefit away from my social security.....
CUT taxes on me even though they are the lowest ive paid EVER.....
but FIX THE BUDGET you idiots...why cant you do it?????
We can bail out banks, we can bail out auto industry, we can have wars in multiple places costing us billions of dollars and yet we cannot see clearly enough to know that we need to work together as a country to keep it afloat. The vanity and the inability to work together is just beyond my scope anymore. Logic is simple, in order to fix things, in order to even make a country of our size work properly, we need revenue. Revenue does not fall out of the sky. Tea Party members signed a pledge saying they would NEVER raise taxes, regardless of the reason. This was as idiotic as them pledging they would not compromise. They pretend to be so utterly patriotic, but they are set on a destructive path to shut down the functionality of our entire country and that really really depresses me.
I will end with this...
I recently watched a documentary about people who became US citizens, all of them... from all over the world from Mexico, to Russia, to India, to Iraq....they all wanted to come here for the chance at a better life...for freedom, for an open place where you can say, live, think, and worship the way you want. They read about a place where people worked together and they renounced their homelands to be here...the best place on earth. Id like to keep it that way and becoming polarized teams of loyalty rather than working together to solve something... is not the way to go.

People

2011-07-28T02:55:00.000-04:00

I would never say once that I am not a fickle person, I am. I am very particular about a lot of things and thankfully I have a very easygoing husband who accepts all my idiosyncratic ways in stride. I will also say this, I have friends who do the same. My friend Kyle seems to know me pretty well... he understands my social yet unsociable side and accepts it and pretty much caters to it. We hang out a little bit, once or twice a week...going to get coffee for about 45 minutes and heading home... and thats it and its great.
I have other friends who pretend to know me... and perhaps thats pushing it... but it feels that way.
its like...hey I am gonna offer you to go do something with the full understanding that you are going to say no and when you mention not doing anything, I am going to bring up the fact that I offered regardless if the circumstances would mean you would most likely say no. I don't know if that is not knowing a person or knowing them so well that you consciously choose when to offer assistance with the knowledge that assistance will be turned down.
I say empty offers, I don't really know if thats what it is.

I am often extremely unsociable and sometimes that can go to the extreme when i am tired, when I have a lot on my mind...when I am stressed...
Which one of those am I right now... all of them...
I am worried about work aka pay
I am worried about my education as I am currently in the limbo between an undergrad degree and a masters program.
I am worried about what I want to do and what I physically can do... I have a disease and with each passing year I realize just how much say that disease has in my progression.
I am worried about other people's expectations.... I want people to acknowledge me for the person that I am...to recognize what talents I have and when they dont... I wont lie and pretend like ti doesn't bother me... I am not an ordinary typical person, I don't want to be treated as such.
Right now I am stressed out and I am more stressed by the fact that a close friend offered to help under the circumstances of knowing I wouldn't accept it and to act oblivious/ innocent in it...really bothers me because it only plays to the idea that if one would make such a mistake...that the person didn't know me well at all.
We want to be surrounded by people who not only care about us but care about the people we are and right now it feels like thats not the case with some of my friends.
It makes socialization a desolate idea.

Cooking Does Great Things

2011-07-23T23:16:00.000-04:00

Dinner with Husband

One of the most amazing things that I have actually got from getting rheumatoid arthritis and being forced to work less has been the time I now have with Adam to cook. We may have been cooks in another life or something of that nature, but I do know this.... it is so enjoyable to cook with him and I even though we walk away with burns and the kitchen looks like the battle of Ypres took place in it.... its all worth it (the hours of cleanup that is).

We spend extra money on insane ingredients and odd kitchen gadgets (we are currently using the heck out of our flavor shaker) and of course... cookbooks (right now we are doing recipes out of Ad Hoc At Home which is an amazing book by Thomas Keller.

Tonight we had... peppercorn fillets with fresh creamed corn and an amazing horseradish and balsamic vinaigrette cream sauce with pineapple upside down cake. While I wont be hungry for days.... I am stuffed, happy, and just in a good place.
If you have free time with the one you life, try spending it in the kitchen together, its amazing fun.

A Chat with Dr. Misguided

2011-07-22T00:55:00.000-04:00

Working in retail allows you the opportunity to meet a plethora of people and while many of those people are awesome.... there are days you get who I will call Dr. Misguided.
Dr. Misguided is a regular customer at the store I work at (a bookstore) and I have already decided that bookstores attract the stranger side of our population.
Dr. Misguided is a very successful surgeon and he often comes in once every week or so and orders in upwards of three hundred dollars worth of books... one of his recent titles...
The Road to Serfdom
which...oh buddy...
Anyway, tonight he decided to quote german nazis and compare them to Obama... sigh.
And that was pretty much my night at work.
This guy tried to lecture me on now my generation shouldn't expect those who work for a living to take are of us.
I'm sure thats easy for him to say when he leaves our store and goes home to his mansion and assumes that because I work at a bookstore I must be less of a human and less deserving of a stable life. It was infuriating and it shows how out of touch the rich are from the rest of the population...
I told him I had no problem paying taxes and that I had worked since I was sixteen...
Its hard to keep a sweet face when people are talking down to you because they think they are entitled by class to do so.

The Joy of Dogs

2011-07-21T00:06:00.000-04:00

I cannot say I have always been a dog person, not in the true definition of the word. When I was growing up, we always had dogs...but I never truly bonded with one of them. Now though, in my 34th year of life, I can honestly say I am a dog person who is married to a life long dog person and that fact has led to a great deal of happiness and joy that we may not have had otherwise.
Let me explain a bit further...
In April of 2002, we went through one of the most difficult periods of our lives with the loss of our daughter Anna. I still don't like talking about it, the subject still makes me uncomfortable to talk about and I still cannot manage to even go to the cemetery and see her grave, its just too hard. I think that day I decided I would not have children, after going through that, I knew that I could not even attempt to go through it again and I don't want anyone in my family to have to go through it either. I still cry about it, I still see little things that remind me of her and it just tears that hole in my heart open again and thus, we are childless.
In all honestly, we have 7 children. Six dogs and a cat.... its a menagerie and the cause of a great deal of chaos and I love every bit of it.
Percy, Rosey, Molly, Lilly, Poppy, Lizzie, and Mr. Mew (His name is Teddy but adam calls him Mr. Mew and so his name is Mr. Mew) are our children and they are stressful but amazing. So it breaks down to a miniature schnauzer, four muts, and a big eyed boxer puppy we recently adopted. Each dog and cat have their own distinct personality and they also fill our hearts with a love and purpose. I feel so honored to have these guys in my life and for all the times they frustrate me when they eat something they shouldnt.... break something in some sort of zoom through the house or have an accident on the floor five seconds after coming back in the house.... there are more times when their unconditional love is just what I need after a really stressful day. I cannot truly describe how much therapy having pets gives someone...but I really believe if not for them, I would be in a much darker place.
In May, after a lovely trip to London, Adam and I adopted Lizzie (her real name is Elizabeth I... I love my history). She is a AKC registered Boxer and shes giant and full of life and love. Her arrival couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. I graduated college in May and for some reason that biological clock started ticking.... and those "What ifs" popped up and were really doing a number on my mind. In all honesty, I do not want children. Along with the stress of our previous experiences...I also have pretty crappy health with an auto-immune disease that wreaks havoc on my joints and body and medication that is caustic to say the least...its just an unhealthy idea and after some soul searching I realized that while I had a short longing for the idea of motherhood...if I really wanted to be honest with myself and consider other people involved as well...its just not something I need/want to do. And then somehow.... we got Lizze. She could make the worst day wonderful. She is playful, she is loving and animated...its just a joy to be around her and all she has to do is run up to you, put her paw on your leg and stare at you with those big brown eyes and your insides just melt.
She is truly a blessing. We love taking her outside, we love playing with her. We even love it when she surprises you in the morning by dragging the toilet paper through the house because you were the fool who left the bathroom door open (happened this morning btw). Lizzie has this special ability to just make everything OK and that is the joy of dogs. They love you, they want you to be happy and they are there to love you when the rest of the world doesn't and I need that.
Dogs make all the bad go away, even if its for a short time...and that is a wonderfully amazing gift.

Thoughts of the Day

2011-07-20T00:08:00.000-04:00

I really do not enjoy my weekly dose of methotrexate, it puts me in a horrible mood and I am distracted all day by feeling sick and hungry at the same time. I have been reading what I would call a fluff book as of late. Stupid History is hilarious but not totally something to be taken as legit researched history on all fronts.

A Dance with Dragons

2011-07-17T11:10:00.000-04:00

What is more frustrating than waiting for a book to come out anxiously? How about finishing it and waiting for everyone else to do it while your brain is exploding with a need to talk about what you have read.... geeze!
I hate that I read so fast because this last book is insane and I know we will have a wait before the next one come out. I cannot say why I have attached myself to the Martin books as much as I have... the fact that it is fantasy without screaming that is such really has something to do with it. There are no elves, there are no orcs, and the dwarves are people who are born with a genetic defect, not some happy mountain dwelling, treasure seeking, drinker with a long beard and no common sense...
My three favorites... Dany, Tyrion, and Jon...so much happens to them...so much I can't talk about until my friends catch up.
CATCH UP... PLEASE!!!
At this point I'm bursting at the seems.

It All Ends

2011-07-16T22:36:00.000-04:00

A Reflection on Harry Potter

I remember when I decided to read Harry Potter. I wasn't like the millions of children who began to read the series immediately when it was first published here in 1998, to be honest.... I wasn't into the books until between the release of Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix. By that point, I worked as a manager of a bookstore and had resisted reading the books for years, due to the fact that they were children's books and I guess I believed at the time, too childish for me. That being said, scores of friends, customers, and others raved to me about how completely amazing the books were and I nodded, smiled, and went on about my business...reading a novel every now and again and just not finding anything that truly caught my attention.

I read every single book that was out within a few days, maybe three or four. I found myself fascinated by the color and the depth of the story and with the humanity of the characters (for good and for bad). I feel in love with the wizarding world just as everyone else had who cherishes this series and I am so thankful that I did. For the first time in a long time...those books had me talking about a story and wondering, waiting in complete suspense for every book after to come out so I could finally see Voldemort destroyed and evil defeated. I can just imagine what it would be like to grow with the characters, like so many children had the opportunity to do, I can imagine that an experience like that only comes once in a lifetime and while they are just books and stories...they are a part of your childhood... a part of growing up and good friends for the last 13 years.

When Deathly Hallows finally belonged to me... I remember immersing myself in the books immediately and reading it from cover to cover within a day. One thing I recall that I didn't like about the book then, I appreciate now and understand why Rowling placed it in the book. 19 Years Later, after reading the complete gut wrenching last half of Deathly Hallows seemed trite and silly... like Rowling HAD to make it pretty for all the youngsters who grew up with Harry...to show how everything worked out just right. Now, years after reading the books multiple times and tonight after seeing the final film in the theater (which I loved), I understand that chapter and I appreciate it more.

The most important part of living through something traumatic is actually living through it and moving on. We all have scars and I don't know if it means anything or if I am just overwhelmingly sentimental but, showing Harry and their friends survive and keep going after the most horrific of events details something that weaves itself through the entire Potter series...and while love is important, probably the most important theme in the books... hope is right up there. Harry and his friends were willing to die in hopes of making the wizarding world safe for everyone.... and that hope and the willingness to make things right in the midst of terrible darkness is an amazing story and one worth conveying and teaching.

I have never understood those who will look at you with utter disdain and proclaim "We don't read those books...." I think, what a shame. Rowling teaches the most touching and moral story of standing for those you love, doing whats right, and having the courage to stand up for what you believe no matter what faces you and I think that is something a lot of people should learn now. There is also, a great humility in these children's books.... a humility in the sense that everyone is flawed and they make mistakes, but that doesn't make them irredeemable.

I guess I just am feeling a bit sentimental tonight, after seeing my last Harry Potter film in the theaters, after crying my eyes out for a bit when I knew I would (as someone so artistically pointed out to me the other day... You know what happens). The filmmakers did amazing jobs over the years, having the series grow as it should over time and mature. I am very content with the story and very glad I took the time one day to sit down and read those children's books.

writing.

2011-07-09T00:03:00.000-04:00

I have been writing a lot of fiction as of late. Perhaps it is an interlude while I prepare for Grad School, I don't know. I often thought, when I was younger, that I wanted to be a writer and I still...from time to time, write. Do I think I am some great artist or wordsmith? No, not really... but I do enjoy the act of writing a great deal and getting a story out. I think perhaps it is why I enjoy writing the papers so much. Even with non-fiction, just the act of writing makes me feel good. So, even if what I write isn't some deeply academic endeavor, I enjoy it... it makes me feel good.
I think I have a decent story idea... I do not know how far it will go. I tend to write the same page over and over around ten times before I get it right in my eyes and even at that point I have this Trent Reznor level of perfectionist in me and I feel that whatever I have written is complete crap and should immediately be scrapped because it is not worthy of the page.
and... perhaps it is not.
Its no literary jump I will say this, but it does make me feel good and I enjoy developing my story. hey, perhaps I will share it here and get it out there... perhaps not. It is cheesy to say the least.

Why I Don't Like the Media

2011-07-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

So, within 20 minutes of this trial jury verdict being released, I had over 25 posts on my Facebook about it. For days, on every American news channel or news site I have visited, it is all I see and I think to myself... there is so much more going on in the world.
People are murdered every day, beyond that children die every single day from starvation, from unclean living conditions, from lack of proper medical care and THOSE things we can help.
Sure, its horrible when anyone is murdered...but that should be the focus... its horrible when it happens at all and making a career of a media circus around one person's death doesn't do anything but perpetuate a problem....
The entire coverage of that trial...if you can call it that was disgusting, and maybe now the world can move on to more important issues.

London, England

2011-05-18T09:26:00.000-04:00

London was amazing. I guess that is the simplest way to put it when I could go on and on for hours about all of the things I did which have already begun to blur. It was great because I wasn't as connected... our phones didn't work, the internet was expensive, so we spent most of our time out and doing things... enjoying ourselves and the area.
We...
Went to all the sites
Attended an Evensong Service at Westminster Abbey
Visited The Victoria and Albert Museum Which was amazing!!!
Saw Big Ben, Parliament, Buckingham Palace, The London Eye, Piccadilly Circus, Covent Gardens, The Imperial War Museum....and much more
We ate at Dashoom (best indian ever), had an amazing dinner in China Town, had edgy ice cream, and ate many traditional breakfasts....and ate fish and chips in an English Pub in Salisbury.
We went to Salisbury, Kent, Saw the Magna Carta, Went to Stone Henge, Stopped in Bath, took long rides through the beautiful countryside and explored london on the Underground...
That doesn't begin to describe it... but it was amazing and I am so thankful for an awesome husband who made it happen :D

And it begins...

2011-05-09T16:20:00.000-04:00

The stressful week is over, I am officially a college graduate and technically a pretty low level historian, but a Historian all the same. Now I am battling my yearly spring cold which is being so unfriendly seeing as I am leaving for London in four days!
FOUR DAYS!!!!
I cannot wait, but i need to emerge from this evil evil evil cold.

2011-03-10T23:30:00.001-05:00

The wind ushered in a chill

Whispering across the empty streets

Caressing the leaves of moving trees

Lingering, the hand of winter remains.

Remnants of early bloomers fall

Defeated to the cold earth

Bits of dirt and dead grass

Mingle with the crimson petals

I find myself longing for spring

Aching for the warmth of the sun

Recoiling from the icy pangs

As winter hovers over, unmoving

Tendrils of smoke glide by

Leaving paths of ash behind

Along with the scent of clove

Comforting with thoughts of warmth

Ivory Tower...

2011-03-07T11:17:00.000-05:00

I was told today that I need to get out of my ivory tower and live in the blood and beer. I don't really comprehend what it means, but it was one of those breaking point moments where I realize the failings of something like facebook. Someone who knew me oh, 14 years ago... does not know me now and cannot really know me just because they take a gander at my facebook every now and again and get into an argument with me about my beliefs.
I can be elitist to some degree... I do not believe in debasing myself or my beliefs by spiraling down into a name calling diatribe to get my point across. If that is elitist, so be it. I will proudly wear that name. What will end up is that I post more on here and less on facebook about things I am passionate about.

The Lost Art of Friendship

2011-03-07T02:37:00.000-05:00

I can be overwhelmingly old fashioned. Funny as it is, with my multiple computers, gaming systems, high tech gadgets covering the house... there are parts of my personality which hearken back to (as much as I hate to admit it) a "simpler time" as it were. Perhaps I am the epitome of that character in so many 19th century novels which fills her heads with books and creates this ideal of people that in the end, is too much for any common person to handle. At the same time, I also believe that somewhere in the realm of humanity, there are others like me who have standards, which while are very high... have merit and value.
My first encounter with it had to be Little Women or Anne of Green Gables... the idea of the bosom friend, the kindred spirit...the other half of the whole in friendship who, regardless of the obstacles or the odds...would cherish you as a friend and be there no matter what... It is an utterly romantic notion. Beth and Jo... Anne and Diana and later in my life... Jane Eyre and Helen Burns... a bond, a closeness that was without obstacle, no matter how harsh the consequences, friendship for them meant everything and they would risk life and limb to protect the other.

I've never had one of those friends. It's some sort of romantic fantasy at this point. Now, I don't truly count family in this... my husband and I are more times than not...two peas in a pod, but he is my husband and bias. LOL. As I get older though, I realize I have fewer and fewer friends. This is a personal choice, I think I have stopped caring to put on appearances to make people happy... I am who I am, flaws and all, I am pig headed, strong willed, emotional, outspoken, slightly selfish, a bit haughty, and... relentless, but I am me and if you can't accept me for all of it, then what is the point anyway?

I think, truly though...there is once incident that really solidified it for me... and it was a very long time ago and since then, I've had this view of friendship unbending...that if you cant stick your neck out for your friend...you might as well not be their friend at all.

I was in middle school, a shy, unsure of myself and awkward girl of 13 who was highly intelligent for my age but not as much emotionally developed. My parents put me in a private middle school which was the worst fit possible for me...not very academic, focused on sports and status and with a high level of what we would now call the "redneck" factor... uncultured, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I tried now.. I became a cheerleader, I ran track, I played softball...to no avail. No boys liked me, I got kicked in class by other kids, picked on, and shunned. I had one school friend who had also come over with me from Elementary school, we were close friends... we still talk now... she lived right down the road... but we weren't close friends at school. She would always tell me we could hang out at her house but not at school...she didn't want her friends to give her a hard time for hanging out with me. So... there were parties I wasn't invited to, things I got left out of and yet, I stayed a loyal and good friend... because we hung out constantly at her house or mine...away from school of course.

Years later... a more confident person... I would have never even allowed for such a slight, if someone doesn't want to be my friend 24/7....then they are not worth it. But... I now hold people to pretty rigid standards. If you cant be there when its easy and when its hard, then I would rather not have you there at all. I want the true friends... the Diana Barrys, the Jo Marchs, and the Helen Burns of the world....

man

2011-03-07T00:58:00.001-05:00

I shouldnt argue on the internet, I should know better...
Im starting to hate people.

2011-01-31T02:35:00.001-05:00

being sick all the time gets old.

Thoughts

2011-01-18T12:24:00.001-05:00

I wonder when older generations will realize that age doesn't always necessarily mean correct.

Things Will Be Better in the Morning

2011-01-17T09:46:00.000-05:00

We say, when we have a bad day or are having a bad time... things will be better in the morning. I think generally it means with some times, problems are not as bleak as they seem to be initially and perhaps in some cases that is true.
I am non-violet, passive, diplomatic.
I have studied countless wars while trying to obtain a history degree and each one of them seem like a band-aid on top of a problem, save one or two. Modern War resembles that more and more so, whenever I hear about war, violence, the idea of going somewhere and risking our soldiers, I think back about how successful that may be, what are our goals, why are we doing it and what may be the outcome in the long run... and recently, the cons outweigh the pros by dozens and dozens.

I have heard, often, from people I esteem as highly intelligent, that sometimes you have to fight to get things done, but what does fight mean? Does it mean lashing out in a bellicose manner with violence, or does it mean standing up for what you believe in at all costs. Today, above all days, I think about the gift of passive, the gift of non-violence, and the things that it has brought us. Martin Luther King Jr. would not resort to violence, regardless of the outcome and he, along with many other brave men and women, changed our country. If something like that, in the middle of the hate filled 1950s and 60s (racial wise), can work... I think there is a great hope for our country, whose population has proven that it can change if given enough chance to grow and those who fought the good fight didn't give up and remained steadfast, speaking the reason that penetrates the brain and changes the senses.

It is my hope today, in a very polarized country...
Things will be better in the morning.

WInter

2011-01-10T05:32:00.000-05:00

I think there are moments when I would like winter. I enjoy the snow and the look of the thing, but being here and having an inability to get about is troublesome. That and the cold and moisture makes everything ache something terrible. So, I am up at 5:31 AM sore as all get out wondering why on earth its icing outside.
no snow... ice and icky cold wet ice.
Just going to make crap out of my day.

I also hate sickness, illness, people in pain or hurting... especially those I care about.
ITs a horrible horrible thing and I wish that no one I loved ever had to ensure pain or illness.

Thoughts

2011-01-04T00:55:00.000-05:00

I have often said that music to me is the closest to Modern Poetry I think I like... lyrical genius and all that jazz gets to me.
I can listen to a song sometimes and picture the story in my head, its fun.

My next venture into cooking will be a Chocolate Meringue Pie. Today I made a home made chicken soup for stephen since he was sick.

1 large container chicken stock
8 cups of water
Juice of one lemon
2 celery stalks chopped
2 carrots chopped
1 onion chopped
2 garlic cloves chopped
2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons black pepper
1 tablespoon salt
1 package of egg noodles
1 large chicken breast chopped into small pieces.
oregano, rosemary, thyme, parsley

Combine all of these (save noodles) and cook for about an hour. After an hour of cooking on medium, add in egg noodles and cook for another 10 - 12 minutes. Serve with good Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches!

Irish Soda Bread

2010-12-29T02:22:00.000-05:00

Stephen and I watched Julie and Julia tonight, which is a movie I absolutely adore...and had to force Stephen to watch. I think he started to like it, though he will not admit it as he plays Assassin's Creed and protests to watch the random straight to DVD release with a half naked woman in the cover art.

2010

2010-12-27T00:27:00.000-05:00

2010 has been an amazing and difficult year at the same time. On the positive end... I have finished my required schooling for my 4 year History degree, I traveled to New York and Dublin, Ireland... two of the places I have always wanted to visit, and I spent some amazing time with my closest friends. There were some hard patches, but nothing that couldn't be overcome and in the end, it was an amazing year, one of the best ever thanks to people like my wonderful husband Adam, without whom I don't know what I'd do.

I think I also learned a great deal about the nature of friendship. Like many, for a long time I equated the success of friendship with the number of friends one had. It seemed customary to belong to groups, be accepted and liked by a number of people...when, in the end I learned that groups are not what is important... its the loyalty and devotion of the friends you have that matters. I may be able to count on one hand the number of true friends that I have... but in the end, I discovered this year that it is much more important that those few actually care about you, than have an enormous group of casual onlookers who in the end...won't be there.

The true friends are those who have seen you at your best and your very worst and still adore you for all of those things...
I may not have a gaggle of friends... but I have a handful of dear people near to me who would cut off their right arm if they thought it would help me and they mean more than anything to me because of it.

So, in closing... this year has been one of great discovery. I learned through isolation that I am lucky to have that handful and a loving family to go along with it. We struggle so long trying to figure out who we are, or to become comfortable in our own skin... and then we fight tooth and nail to be accepted by a group, to feel like all that work we did panned out and honestly... its only those who love us for our successes and failings that count.

What is my wish for 2011... that those I love also find that out as well.

"Friendship is never established as an understood relation. It is a miracle which requires constant proofs. It is an exercise of the purest imagination and of the rarest faith."
-Thoreau

Thoughts on Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T16:21:00.001-05:00

I am Thankful for my family.
I am Thankful for my husband.
I am Thankful for the few true friends I have.

2010-11-11T00:20:00.000-05:00

Wanted to expand upon our confusions

Yet the screen in front of me is some jumbled collection of words

and they reach out with brittle fingers and air and life sunk away

There is a pain behind my head. It unsettles me like the pain that perpetuates in an

ongoing rhythm to which I know I dare not want to hear.

I am terrified, stuck in this medicated state where the words I type are never clear

nor even visible to my eyes.

Yet... I want someone, somehow to understand when the cloud its and the level of disorientation that champions my thoughts

from that moment onward.

I wish so much to possess the ability in these last minutes of lucidity as my eyes start to battle with my body as things shut down so express my gratitude....and the necessity if your existence in my life.

My rock...

I cannot even see the words I am typing. they saunter around my brain,dancing in silks and satins with oblong masked faces laughing as I wonder confused....wanting to reach you, wanting you to hold to me and make me feel save and wanted, even though you have pushed me away, into the disillusions shadows that are tearing my mind asunder.

2010-11-05T01:17:00.001-04:00

People make me so angry sometimes...

Politics and Ideals

2010-11-03T23:35:00.000-04:00

I have been very quiet the last few days in regards to the elections. There is a part of me that stands dumbfounded at how easily the citizens of this country can be duped by people who play a patriotic song, tell some yarn about days gone by, and press vehemently falsehoods to convince an unknowing American public to vote against their own interests.
Over 90% of the Country who voted on the 2nd of November cited the economy as their biggest issue and so many riled up "activists" walk around with racist and hate-filled signs about Hitler, Muslims, and "God Hates Fags" thinking their sacred moral country has been ripped from them win in fact, they have seemingly no morality, as they press their judgment and hatred onto the rest of the population.
Taxed Enough Already?
How about the 2% of the country who don't create jobs who are now holding onto over 80% of the wealth, while there are some who are working minimum wage jobs, suffering on assistance or cannot get it, and they are breaking under the pressure of this corporate run, capitalistic society?
IN truth, your taxes haven't gone up... at all... you have credits and such that enabled you to save on taxes which started with Bush and continue through Obama, now... and only now are those tax cuts about to expire. And with a realization that our deficit is more than we can handle, the same people who have got you shouting Taxed Enough Already, are refusing to work with many House and Senate democrats on an extension of the tax breaks for Middle and Lower class (about 300,866,419 people), while letting the tax breaks on the highest 2% of our country... 2%... which is about 6 million people expire. Because they do not want to bend, they would rather have the rest of the country suffer. Because they say their main agenda is getting Obama out of office, they would let over 300 million Americans take a burden they may not be able to bear.
Why would the Poor and Middle class vote against their own interests? Well, people like our new Kentucky rep Rand Paul says, there is no rich or poor in America... LOL In truth, they are told, spoon fed, that the rich... create jobs.
Well, I am sure multi-conglomerate corporations create jobs, but one single person does not... and with some of these corporations citing record profits, why are we at a 10% unemployment rate? Well, some of these guys are creating jobs, in 3rd world countries where they can get cheap labor. And whenever they tout that the Government cannot create jobs, I would invite them to Warner Robins and try to disprove that the Government does create jobs.

IN truth, you tell people the scary other is going to come and take away what makes them comfortable, and they behave out of fear...regardless of the facts like...

the bailout has been paid back (with interest)
the heath care bill hasnt even gone into effect yet...
Obama is NOT a muslim
Obama IS an American Citizen
Obama and all LIberals are NOT Marxist Communists
and Gays wont destroy your life if they can be married.
You have the lowest taxes in decades
and the RICH are getting richer while the poor cannot pay the rent.

these are facts.

SO yea, the election disgusted me, but ... whatever...
I just hope people wake up before its too late.

The Edge

2010-10-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

It seems to be
the edge is always
just over the horizon
glittering with warmth
and possibility
yet constantly at arms length
where arms extend
never reaching
stretching to the point of pain
with the idea that the delicate bones
nestled inside will break
The air close to the edge
think like paper walls
holding in a black and white world
gray being deviation
constant supression
shrill and cold
like the fall of winter upon the trees
knobby fingers extending out
with death's chilling touch
The end taunts the eyes
with its beautiful finality
and you dare not close them
else the dream will fade.

Thoughts...

2010-09-20T16:39:00.001-04:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Thoughts

2010-08-25T07:13:00.000-04:00

Going to Europe has been a dream of mine since childhood. A far fetched one more often than not as the price it costs to go to Europe is high and the time needed is lengthy, but somehow, some way, Adam was able to book a four day trip to Dublin, Ireland at least to give me a taste of Europe, a touch of the ancient and there is nothing like that feeling in the world.

Of course Dublin is like any other city...there are tons of people there on vacation, running around th touristy areas in hopes of having a pint of Guinness like a real Irishman. Of course, we did the touristy things and went shopping at the kitchy shops with tea glasses and beer mugs with IRELAND tattooed on them...and actually, that was fun too.

But...

When we flew in and I saw the seaside, and we coasted over a partly clouded sky....with the little blotches of green separated only by darker lines of green, I was elated. And, when I stepped foot on the bricked streets of Trinity College, or the 1200 year old slabs of stone which make of the floor at St. Audoen's church, the age, the sense of time just swept over me and it was truly amazing.

Nothing like it in the world, I cannot thank Adam more for the gift he has given me.

Poem of the Day

2010-07-26T20:00:00.000-04:00

A dust covers the world
the gritty soot in a thin layer
scratching my skin
irritating my eyes
things seem so clouded
and the burning incessant
salty tears fall
in an attempt to cleanse
yet the vision is a blur
and I see only the shapes of things
as if in a distance
on a hot and tarry
asphalt road
In a wave of confusion
I search for the clear
the transparent
yet visions of other lost souls
block my path
mud faced trenchers
with hollowed eyes
and yellowed skin
bellowing out a mournful song
of pain and suffering
I burn incense
to mask the phantom smell
of decaying flesh
remnants of the dead
I've never seen
These words come alive
from the pages
of that which I read
Pangs of war
endless bouts of suffering
and in the blur
covered by ash
I see it as if it were plain as day
no sleep for the wicked they say
as we send more to the trenches
without vision
or clarity

New Poem

2010-07-25T18:33:00.001-04:00

I trained my eyes to look beyond the haze

After things move out of focus

And the world becomes a blur

The true clarity lies beyond that surface

When through the veil you see

The actual shape of things

Like a familiar shape through wisps

Of smoke

I see beyond the foggy visage

Into something almost ethereal

Where light and shadow mingle

Dancing together

Creating the tiny specters of imagination

An eye for the awkward

I see you through the grain

A soft smile

An enduring spirit

One day and One Semester to go

2010-07-25T18:24:00.001-04:00

I have one day left of summer classes...then one semester and I graduate from MSC...wow.

Words that came forth

2010-07-24T21:32:00.000-04:00

In the place of shadows

Beyond gilded windows

And lively places

Where specters of memory dance

Remnants of past transgressions

And hidden emotions

There stands my ambition

Derelict of passion

Mangled in the cobwebs of apathy

A spectacle of itself

Indeed

Once a candle flickered

Its golden light revealing

But it is now cinders

Lying quietly on a cold brass base

No life to speak of

And thus end my dreams

With ash

At least poetic in a sense

Pretty on a page