Long Week

I am pretty happy that this week is in the books, it has been long and not all parts enjoyable. Balancing two jobs, school, and family can be a bit of a weight when at least two of the three are proving overwhelmingly difficult. So this week tested my patience and my ability to stay cool under pressure (this week should = teenagers.... teenagers tested my patience)

I want to pretend that twenty or so years ago I was an average teenager and I could have related to the ones I substitute teach sometimes, but I was not an average teenager and thus I have a hard time with their behavior/hubris....

BUT... I survived, and the teenagers survived and another week of substitute teaching, finishing graduate school, working at a bookstore, and mothering a toddler has passed without me throwing anyone off a roof.

I did have a pretty engaged group of kids interested in Puritans so that was a win, hey... maybe they will remember that and make a good grade on a college test because of it one day and it will all be worth it.

(I am going to tell myself that)

Back to Peruvian mercury mining.... 

School Stuff of Course

Reading about the conditions in silver mines used by the Spanish in the 16th-18th centuries with forced indian labor in Peru is what one might describe as depressing...heartbreaking. To read about the sheer disregard for human life for the production of silver so Spain could push their religious agenda to spread Catholicism in an increasingly religiously diverse Europe is hard to swallow at times. Priests would write back to Spain in an effort to shed light on the horrific conditions, the abuse, and the massive death experienced by native peoples of Peru to either get dismissed or be a part of the problem by still stating the necessity of the work to continue Spain's goals....

mercury poisoning is a pretty horrible way to slowly die.

Happy Day

Years ago we would have gone out, spent a ton of money and ate some big dinner at a local restaurant that was crowded and overpriced.

Today was awesome.

We took our son and got his first haircut, he ruled by the way....
We bought him a fantastic Star Wars toy for being such a good boy.
We had this sloppy overly greasy lunch.
Visited the family and spent time with my sister and parents...
Now tonight, we had a fresh and awesome salad, a bottle of wine, and some red velvet cake.
All in my pajamas....woo!


So many people spend half of this day every year in a foul mood or mad because they do not have what they think they should... but it really should not be about that.
So today is this created day to put focus on your significant other...
but one of the coolest part of my day was watching my little boy play with his Thor pop that his grandparents sent him.
I love all my friends and family every day and I think today especially they should know that regardless of their "status"  they have tons of things that should make them feel awesome today....
That could be the wine talking. 

I do not do death well. That being said, I am almost sure that no one does...it is an alien thing that while we all will experience...we move away from, recoil from... probably more than anything.

I respond awkwardly and without the proper show of emotion, especially in the South, where there is a ritual and tradition to it all.

It makes me very uncomfortable. 

I do not cry at the right time, I do not know what to say... it is problematic for me.

A few weeks back, I discovered that someone I was pretty close to in high school had died years ago...and I did not know.

I missed it somehow and part of me felt so guilty because I did not know... we were pretty close.....

On the other hand I suddenly felt so sad because this person was so bright and amazing, even as a teenager... to think that did not continue... 

A friend on facebook posted a photo of him tonight and I choked up.

We had no spoken or seen each other for twenty years, but man did it hurt to see him there...in a photo, knowing that even though we had not spoken in all those years, that we never would.

Just sucks and I honestly do not know what to say/think beyond... it sucks. 

I Hate When School Gets Out

I have come to dread the time of the day during the week between 2:45 and around 4:30 PM. During this period I usually deal with extreme amounts of loud noise, loitering, dogs barking, car accidents, horns blaring, brakes screeching.... you name it... it has happened during this time period thanks to the problematic small intersection where I live and the fact that many of the high school students use it to avoid having to sit at a traffic light while scores of others walk home from school or a bus stop that is right in front of my house for my entire neighborhood. 

Over the last two years there have been:
fights
near misses between cars and pedestrians 
threats
theft
vandalism
littering
car accidents that result in my property being damaged or cars in the middle of my yards
lots of near accidents
and just a bunch of random screams, yells, car horns and people racing down the street as fast as they can to slam on breaks and make marks in the road.

I wonder what on earth is going on?
I cannot even take my toddler out in our front yard in the afternoon to play on a nice day out of fear that we will be harassed, bothered, or hurt (the whole car in the middle of my front yard last week really upset me).  
I make my dogs stay in the house during this time period because I had someone threaten their lives once and a few weeks ago when I asked the kids ripping their clothes off in the yard I had a girl threaten me and call me a bitch.

I am not a mean person, but I do believe in boundaries and respect and I loathe that I live where I do during this time of the day.  It is nice out, I would love to take Aiden out to play in the front yard and smell the sage plant and enjoy himself.
But I cant and I am at a loss as to how to fix that beyond move... which is what I want to do.

I feel like when I have reached out to those in charge of our safety and community protection, there is a brief response, but not sustained... and that could be lack of manpower, too busy, I do not know... but it is very frustrating to see the things I see.... and then walk in my yard that is littered with trash after school because these kids throw their empty snack bags and bottles with no care at all...

It is awful and it is dangerous.  I wonder when it is going to be something that is on the radar?  The accident last week IN MY FRONT YARD was pretty bad...it was lucky no one was hurt or walking in the intersection at the time.... 

So frustrated. 

Help the American Heart Association

My amazing niece is raising money for the American Heart Association and has a goal of 50$, please help out and donate if you can.

Thanks!

Shonda

http://jumphoops2015gsa.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1116301&supid=418220935

Have a great day!

The Instant Internet Expert

As a graduate student who attends classes full time and works part-time as a substitute teacher and at night in a bookstore, having time to myself to work on schoolwork is difficult to schedule, if I want to be alone. I do not mind my toddler, he is a great kid and usually diligently plays and entertains himself while I read during the day, but in an effort to get a few hours of quiet time once a week I am trying a day out learning program at a local church to give me three hours every Monday and let the awesome toddler socialize with others his age.

You know what I never thought I would worry about though... is if the kids he is around have their shots...
I do not want my child catching some ancient disease that is making a comeback because someone deems themselves more of an expert of medicine than a doctor, that is...ignorant and dangerous and it terrifies me.
If you have worries, questions, ask your doctor... do not endanger the children of others because you believe some horribly researched and disproven crap you found on the internet, it is just... inconsiderate and irresponsible.

And on that note...
You know I loathe the way the internet has turned people in to "Experts" on something because they read a website or something worked for them.
I almost had a facebook blowup moment because a very well meaning but very misinformed person attempted to argue that positive thinking is the simple way to get rid of depression and anyone who is not utilizing this method is just not doing it right or trying hard enough.
mental illness is nothing to scoff at and unless you are a trained expert in the field, your pushy and half-witted advice could get someone hurt.  What if a person suffering from real depression reads your mess and then decides... I feel OK I do not need my meds and goes off them and hurts themselves or others???
Just because you felt better after you started living a positive life does not mean you have the age old secret to stopping depression, and to even imply that someone... because they do need medical help be it with therapy or medication is somehow not doing it right...is completely irresponsible and dangerous.

I was friendly, but pretty annoyed... instant experts man...they are so the opposite of awesome.