A Dance with Dragons

What is more frustrating than waiting for a book to come out anxiously?  How about finishing it and waiting for everyone else to do it while your brain is exploding with a need to talk about what you have read.... geeze!
I hate that I read so fast because this last book is insane and I know we will have a wait before the next one come out.  I cannot say why I have attached  myself to the Martin books as much as I have... the fact that it is fantasy without screaming that is such really has something to do with it.  There are no elves, there are no orcs, and the dwarves are people who are born with a genetic defect, not some happy mountain dwelling, treasure seeking, drinker with a long beard and no common sense...
My three favorites... Dany, Tyrion, and Jon...so much happens to them...so much I can't talk about until my friends catch up.
CATCH UP... PLEASE!!!
At this point I'm bursting at the seems.  

It All Ends

A Reflection on Harry Potter

 I remember when I decided to read Harry Potter.  I wasn't like the millions of children who began to read the series immediately when it was first published here in 1998, to be honest.... I wasn't into the books until between the release of Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix.  By that point, I worked as a manager of a bookstore and had resisted reading the books for years, due to the fact that they were children's books and I guess I believed at the time, too childish for me.  That being said, scores of friends, customers, and others raved to me about how completely amazing the books were and I nodded, smiled, and went on about my business...reading a novel every now and again and just not finding anything that truly caught my attention.  

     I read every single book that was out within a few days, maybe three or four.  I found myself fascinated by the color and the depth of the story and with the humanity of the characters (for good and for bad).  I feel in love with the wizarding world just as everyone else had who cherishes this series and I am so thankful that I did.  For the first time in a long time...those books had me talking about a story and wondering, waiting in complete suspense for every book after to come out so I could finally see Voldemort destroyed and evil defeated. I can just imagine what it would be like to grow with the characters, like so many children had the opportunity to do, I can imagine that an experience like that only comes once in a lifetime and while they are just books and stories...they are a part of your childhood... a part of growing up and good friends for the last 13 years.

     When Deathly Hallows finally belonged to me... I remember immersing myself in the books immediately and reading it from cover to cover within a day.  One thing I recall that I didn't like about the book then, I appreciate now and understand why Rowling placed it in the book.  19 Years Later, after reading the complete gut wrenching last half of Deathly Hallows seemed trite and silly... like Rowling HAD to make it pretty for all the youngsters who grew up with Harry...to show how everything worked out just right.  Now, years after reading the books multiple times and tonight after seeing the final film in the theater (which I loved), I understand that chapter and I appreciate it more.

     The most important part of living through something traumatic is actually living through it and moving on.  We all have scars and I don't know if it means anything or if I am just overwhelmingly sentimental but, showing Harry and their friends survive and keep going after the most horrific of events details something that weaves itself through the entire Potter series...and while love is important, probably the most important theme in the books... hope is right up there.  Harry and his friends were willing to die in hopes of making the wizarding world safe for everyone.... and that hope and the willingness to make things right in the midst of terrible darkness is an amazing story and one worth conveying and teaching.  

I have never understood those who will look at you with utter disdain and proclaim "We don't read those books...."  I think, what a shame.  Rowling teaches the most touching and moral story of standing for those you love, doing whats right, and having the courage to stand up for what you believe no matter what faces you and I think that is something a lot of people should learn now.  There is also, a great humility in these children's books.... a humility in the sense that everyone is flawed and they make mistakes, but that doesn't make them irredeemable.  

    I guess I just am feeling a bit sentimental tonight, after seeing my last Harry Potter film in the theaters, after crying my eyes out for a bit when I knew I would (as someone so artistically pointed out to me the other day... You know what happens).  The filmmakers did amazing jobs over the years, having the series grow as it should over time and mature.  I am very content with the story and very glad I took the time one day to sit down and read those children's books.  

writing.

I have been writing a lot of fiction as of late.  Perhaps it is an interlude while I prepare for Grad School, I don't know.  I often thought, when I was younger, that I wanted to be a writer and I still...from time to time, write.  Do I think I am some great artist or wordsmith?  No, not really... but I do enjoy the act of writing a great deal and getting a story out.  I think perhaps it is why I enjoy writing the papers so much.  Even with non-fiction, just the act of writing makes me feel good.  So, even if what I write isn't some deeply academic endeavor, I enjoy it... it makes me feel good.
I think I have a decent story idea... I do not know how far it will go.  I tend to write the same page over and over around ten times before I get it right in my eyes and even at that point I have this Trent Reznor level of perfectionist in me and I feel that whatever I have written is complete crap and should immediately be scrapped because it is not worthy of the page.
and... perhaps it is not.
Its no literary jump I will say this, but it does make me feel good and I enjoy developing my story.  hey, perhaps I will share it here and get it out there... perhaps not.  It is cheesy to say the least.

Why I Don't Like the Media

So, within 20 minutes of this trial jury verdict being released, I had over 25 posts on my Facebook about it.  For days, on every American news channel or news site I have visited, it is all I see and I think to myself... there is so much more going on in the world.
People are murdered every day, beyond that children die every single day from starvation, from unclean living conditions, from lack of proper medical care and THOSE things we can help.  
Sure, its horrible when anyone is murdered...but that should be the focus... its horrible when it happens at all and making a career of a media circus around one person's death doesn't do anything but perpetuate a problem....
The entire coverage of that trial...if you can call it that was disgusting, and maybe now the world can move on to more important issues.

London, England

London was amazing.  I guess that is the simplest way to put it when I could go on and on for hours about all of the things I did which have already begun to blur.  It was great because I wasn't as connected... our phones didn't work, the internet was expensive, so we spent most of our time out and doing things... enjoying ourselves and the area.
We...
Went to all the sites
Attended an Evensong Service at Westminster Abbey
Visited The Victoria and Albert Museum Which was amazing!!!
Saw Big Ben, Parliament, Buckingham Palace, The London Eye, Piccadilly Circus, Covent Gardens, The Imperial War Museum....and much more
We ate at Dashoom (best indian ever), had an amazing dinner in China Town, had edgy ice cream, and ate many traditional breakfasts....and ate fish and chips in an English Pub in Salisbury.  
We went to Salisbury, Kent, Saw the Magna Carta, Went to Stone Henge, Stopped in Bath, took long rides through the beautiful countryside and explored london on the Underground...
That doesn't begin to describe it... but it was amazing and I am so thankful for an awesome husband who  made it happen  :D

And it begins...

The stressful week is over, I am officially a college graduate and technically a pretty low level historian, but a Historian all the same. Now I am battling my yearly spring cold which is being so unfriendly seeing as I am leaving for London in four days!
FOUR DAYS!!!!
I cannot wait, but i need to emerge from this evil evil evil cold.

The wind ushered in a chill

Whispering across the empty streets

Caressing the leaves of moving trees

Lingering, the hand of winter remains.

Remnants of early bloomers fall

Defeated to the cold earth

Bits of dirt and dead grass

Mingle with the crimson petals

I find myself longing for spring

Aching for the warmth of the sun

Recoiling from the icy pangs

As winter hovers over, unmoving

Tendrils of smoke glide by

Leaving paths of ash behind

Along with the scent of clove

Comforting with thoughts of warmth

Ivory Tower...

I was told today that I need to get out of my ivory tower and live in the blood and beer.  I don't really comprehend what it means, but it was one of those breaking point moments where I realize the failings of something like facebook.  Someone who knew me oh, 14 years ago... does not know me now and cannot really know me just because they take a gander at my facebook every now and again and get into an argument with me about my beliefs.
I can be elitist to some degree... I do not believe in debasing myself or my beliefs by spiraling down into a name calling diatribe to get my point across.  If that is elitist, so be it.  I will proudly wear that name.  What will end up is that I post more on here and less on facebook about things I am passionate about.

The Lost Art of Friendship

I can be overwhelmingly old fashioned.  Funny as it is, with my multiple computers, gaming systems, high tech gadgets covering the house... there are parts of my personality which hearken back to (as much as I hate to admit it) a "simpler time" as it were.  Perhaps I am the epitome of that character in so many 19th century novels which fills her heads with books and creates this ideal of people that in the end, is too much for any common person to handle.  At the same time, I also believe that somewhere in the realm of humanity, there are others like me who have standards, which while are very high... have merit and value.  
My first encounter with it had to be Little Women or  Anne of Green Gables...  the idea of the bosom friend, the kindred spirit...the other half of the whole in friendship who, regardless of the obstacles or the odds...would cherish you as a friend and be there no matter what...  It is an utterly romantic notion.  Beth and Jo... Anne and Diana and later in my life... Jane Eyre and Helen Burns... a bond, a closeness that was without obstacle, no matter how harsh the consequences, friendship for them meant everything and they would risk life and limb to protect the other.


I've never had one of those friends.  It's some sort of romantic fantasy at this point.  Now, I don't truly count family in this... my husband and I are more times than not...two peas in a pod, but he is my husband and bias.  LOL.  As I get older though, I realize I have fewer and fewer friends.  This is a personal choice, I think I have stopped caring to put on appearances to make people happy... I am who I am, flaws and all, I am pig headed, strong willed, emotional, outspoken, slightly selfish, a bit haughty, and... relentless, but I am me and if you can't accept me for all of it, then what is the point anyway?  


I think, truly though...there is once incident that really solidified it for me... and it was a very long time ago and since then, I've had this view of friendship unbending...that if you cant stick your neck out for your friend...you might as well not be their friend at all.


I was in middle school, a shy, unsure of myself and awkward girl of 13 who was highly intelligent for my age but not as much emotionally developed.  My parents put me in a private middle school which was the worst fit possible for me...not very academic, focused on sports and status and with a high level of what we would now call the "redneck" factor... uncultured, I stuck out like a sore thumb.  I tried now.. I became a cheerleader, I ran track, I played softball...to no avail.  No boys liked me, I got kicked in class by other kids, picked on, and shunned.  I had one school friend who had also come over with me from Elementary school, we were close friends... we still talk now... she lived right down the road... but we weren't close friends at school.  She would always tell me we could hang out at her house but not at school...she didn't want her friends to give her a hard time for hanging out with me.  So... there were parties I wasn't invited to, things I got left out of and yet, I stayed a loyal and good friend... because we hung out constantly at her house or mine...away from school of course.


Years later... a more confident person... I would have never even allowed for such a slight, if someone doesn't want to be my friend 24/7....then they are not worth it.  But... I now hold people to pretty rigid standards.  If you cant be there when its easy and when its hard, then I would rather not have you there at all.   I want the true friends... the Diana Barrys, the Jo Marchs, and the Helen Burns of the world.... 

man

I shouldnt argue on the internet, I should know better...
Im starting to hate people.