I've been feeling sickly the last few days and I really don't want my facebook or my conversation to be centered around me feeling like crap, even if I do. A combination of working some pretty grueling shifts which include all physical style labor (ive been doing returns which consists of boxing up 40lb boxes of books we send back to the publisher, taping them up, and picking them up one at a time and hauling them to the area where they are stored for 8 hours), school being back in session and learning to cope with days where I go to class at 930 to 12:15 and then go work until 11 PM some days and then go to class half the afternoon on others, as well as attempting to do Tae Kwon Do (Which is totally my choice) for some exercise... I feel like total ass. But... I feel so guilty because so what, I feel like ass and yet there are people with no homes and no food and dying on the street somewhere and im whining because my stupid ass disease is acting up a bit.

But...

its how I feel.

Im really frustrated because I take my shots...but I refuse to take the other crap that makes me sick...

I WILL NOT take methotrexate again....that stuff is disgusting and it makes me so unhappy, sick...losing my hair...im only 33...

I dont want to take my pain pills, they make me sick to my stomach but, its 3 am and im sitting on the couch miserable because I hurt, I cant sleep, and I dont want to get in the bed, toss and turn and wake up Adam crying like I have twice this week.

Bleh...

This is stupid and I feel even more stupid for having my own personal pity party.