Gossip

I loathe gossip.

I loathe those who gossip and try to get into other people's business.

I find that it is hard to deal with people who spend all of their time concerned with other people's lives. When you look at it, they must lead very empty lives of their own...

Granted none of these immature "grown ups" are giving me problems, but I am a party to the havoc they are causing for others and it aggravates me and thus I am removing myself from the association of some people... not immediate friends but those kind of in a group...

I dont like it and I wont be in the midst of such destructive and immature behavior.

When it Rains...

I stayed up until around three in the morning working on the papers I had due today. With zeal and determination, I hashed out everything and by 3 AM, I finally finished my last bit of work due for the semester. Thinking I finally was able to poke my head above the clouds, I went to bed...setting my alarm for 9 AM, so I could get to my final early and prepare before taking my final...coming home...and finishing up the last take home final I have due on Thursday...

But as I am prone to the oddest luck... when I got ready to leave, I found my car keys safely locked inside my car...in the dashboard, where I had left them from mine and Adam's trip to Florida. Now, it was my fault, I forgot to get them out before Adam left for work this morning, but the outcome is... I am stuck at home with no way to get to my final.

I have an amazing professor though who offered to let me take the Final on Wednesday, at 9 AM. I will be there, with bells on, happily awaiting the final exam...such is life, such is what shall be...its just a pain in the butt and I stood there at my door as it started to rain this morning and went... REALLY???

But...

its a test, that I missed, that I will get to make up.

I sat down, had a moment, took a deep breath like my Professor suggested...and decided to make a cake.

My mother makes the MOST AMAZING sour cream poundcake in the world. You would have to taste it to understand... I could eat pieces of that cake no matter if I were hungry or not and I just so happen to have all the ingredients sitting around my kitchen. So, instead of freaking out about those things I cannot control, I calmed down and made a cake.

It may be gloomy outside, but I'm gonna cheer it up around here.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Today I am cheerful because I can see the light at the end of the Fall Semester tunnel. I have one and a half papers and a take home final...and one in class final and I am finished for Fall 09. What this means... Spring 10, Summer 10, and Fall 10 and I will have completed my Bachelor's of History.

It is a small step really because over the next year I have to...

1. Take the GRE

2. Apply to Grad School

3. Get into a Grad School

4. Figure out how I am going to go to Grad School

BUT... its getting somewhere.

IF I can complete grad school in 3 years tops and my PHD in 2, I will have my PHD by the time I am 38. I feel like I am starting very late, but I don't know... when I start talking about history and realizing what all the subject does for me and others... I know it is where I need to be.

I am on the right path, I just have to stay on it no matter what.

I wont be a sellout like that Robert Frost guy. ;)

Humanity

We spend our lives trying to sway people to what we believe. There is nothing wrong with that, its perfectly natural...human and we are all human.

I had someone attempt to tell me tonight that we are not all human, or not all equally human at least and it disturbed me so very much... I wanted to shake the person and say NO...LISTEN TO YOURSELF...but what would that prove really?

I was accused of being politically correct tonight because I said I wanted to be respectful of all ethnicities and I would not agree that different ethnicities means lesser/more human...

This guy, as nice as he may be on a social level.. is a racist, a bigot, a person who looks at someone who is not white and thinks they are lesser than he...and that is, without a doubt, disgusting.

Its sad to me... that you can look at another person and see anything but another human being.

Why is it so easy to separate everyone out into neat little groups...so we can diminish them, push them to the side, or make ourselves better?

He tried to tell me science could prove different ethnicities should stay with each other because genetically its good for you...and when I argued the bad side of social darwinism, he said I was being political...

but... is it politics to think all people are equal?

This guy has always seemed to be as a bright, intelligent, and nice person...

but then there is this...giant elephant now...racist, judgmental... wrong... and I think to myself... why?

How do people turn into this?

And of course... im leftist, liberal, a communist, a fascist... because I wont agree that we should separate ethnicities and

"its true that some races are better at some things than others..."

NO NO NO...thats just wrong, and ignorant, and wrong...

but calling someone stupid wont change anything.

The world is a complicated place...some of the arguments I heard tonight reminded me of the racial testing done back in the 50s to legitimize Jim Crowe in America, or the things the Nazis were doing to the Jews or the mentally disabled in Germany in the 1930s and 1940s...

I cannot look at another human being regardless of their race, creed, or faith and see anything except a human being...

Its heartbreaking to know people think the way this guy does and I couldnt really open up about it on facebook...but I had to get it out, because I'm screaming about it on the inside.