I do not do death well. That being said, I am almost sure that no one does...it is an alien thing that while we all will experience...we move away from, recoil from... probably more than anything.

I respond awkwardly and without the proper show of emotion, especially in the South, where there is a ritual and tradition to it all.

It makes me very uncomfortable. 

I do not cry at the right time, I do not know what to say... it is problematic for me.

A few weeks back, I discovered that someone I was pretty close to in high school had died years ago...and I did not know.

I missed it somehow and part of me felt so guilty because I did not know... we were pretty close.....

On the other hand I suddenly felt so sad because this person was so bright and amazing, even as a teenager... to think that did not continue... 

A friend on facebook posted a photo of him tonight and I choked up.

We had no spoken or seen each other for twenty years, but man did it hurt to see him there...in a photo, knowing that even though we had not spoken in all those years, that we never would.

Just sucks and I honestly do not know what to say/think beyond... it sucks.